Game Reports

“At Least We Have Shade” – Ciro

In case you were wondering….. Gravitational waves are ‘ripples’ in the fabric of space-time caused by some of the most violent and energetic processes in the Universe. Albert Einstein predicted the existence of gravitational waves in 1916 in his general theory of relativity. Einstein’s mathematics showed that massive accelerating objects (such as neutron stars or…

Badgers Batter Cosmos 3-1 In Preparation For Next Week’s Clark Field El Classico (Alternative Chris Peterson Supplied Title: Hope Floats 2: The Blood Letting)

On Sunday, with the “Avenge Carlos” battle cry ringing out in the Badger’s ears, Cosmos never stood a chance. Nineteen Honey Badgers assembled to kick off this season for real, and within 3 minutes of the starting whistle, the score was 2-0 Cameron Road.

Cameron Road’s Press Secretary Discusses Alternative Facts About Today’s Loss to Verity

POST MATCH NEWS BRIEFING – Transcript by AMSA FEBRUARY 19th, 2017 SPEAKER: CAMERON ROAD UNITED PRESS SECRETARY [*] SPEAKER: Good afternoon, everyone. Thanks for coming out. I would like to start by saying that you just witnessed one of the greatest games you’ve even seen. I’m talking better than when our boys beat our good friends the Russians…

Honey Badgers Destroy South Austin FC 4-0 To Stay Top Of The Table Heading Into Their Winter Hibernation

Cameron Road finished off the last game of the season with a resounding win against South Austin FC to remain at the top of the table headed into the winter break. This match featured an extra hour of sleep due to daylight savings time, and the Honey Badgers took full advantage of it by getting their…

Goals Swalled Up By Halloween Mist As Honey Badgers Play Verity To An Unsatisfying 0-0 Draw

The Mist descended upon Manor like something out of a Stephen King novel. It was the morning before Halloween, and all the tree line gremlins and shadow cats prowled the pitch in search of a bloody feast. They must have gotten to Verity early and snatched one of their players up, because they only had…

You’ve Got Mail – Peterson’s Personal Email Server Back Online As His Message To Chappy Is Received In Front of Goal. Honey Badgers Back On Top As They Beat Beercelona 1-0.

After two successive 1-goal defeats, the Honey Badgers were in desperate need of some of Luke’s Grandmother’s biscuits. (#metaphor) Facing Beercelona though, is no easy task. They were sitting pretty at the top of the Over 30A table and were coming off a summer thrashing of Cameron Road where they dropped 6 goals on the…

Victory Not Written in the Stars as Cameron Road Narrowly Defeated by the Cosmos 2-1

As Carl Sagan would have said it, “the Honey Badgers had billions and billions of chances,” but just couldn’t put the ball into the back of the net to avenge Carlos’ injury. (Google it, it’s a pretty clever reference) With plenty of subs, a sideline bursting with fandom, a drunken Verity crew handing out #service…

Gunned Down: Honey Badgers Destroy Gunners 6-0 One Week After Crushing The Punter’s Spirits And Remain In First Place

If ever there was a time for a letdown, it was Sunday. A week removed from beating their biggest rivals (sorry Dragons), the Honey Badgers could have taken their foot off the gas and taken a leisurely drive out to Manor for a little game of grab ass. Instead, they chose to install a 4:11 Positrac…

Dos-XX a Cero. Honey Badgers Blank Punters and Retain Legendary “Soccer 1” Status at the Crown.

In a game three years in the making, the Honey Badgers beat longtime Clark Field rivals The Punters with the prestigious “Soccer 1” status on the line. Goals by Andy and Gianluca sealed the victory in the second half, and a rock-solid Danimal lead defense pitched a shutout as the frustrated Punters found no love in…

Honey Badgers Hold on for Dear Life in Epic Opening Day Win Against ATX United Silver Who Are Still Like “What tha What. How Did We Lose to Those Guys?” Boom. You Been Badgered!

In an epic show of team strength, heroic defending, grit, determination and one fantastic counter attacking goal, Cameron Road United took the league by storm winning their Over 30A opener 1-0. Badger Town received an upgrade as Jefe went West Coast Customs on our new tent. There were $300 worth of new match balls in…

Snakebitten: Cobra Bites Back as Honey Badgers Succumb to Another 2-1 Defeat

Another week, another 1 goal loss. At least the Honey Badgers are developing some consistency. That’s three 1 goal losses out of four so far. It was looking rough at kickoff as Cameron Road suited up 8 players to take on Austin Blues, and the Dragons were in full heckling form after their Division 12 win…

Opening Game of Summer Comeback Falls Short as Badgers Lose To Austin Goldstar Gold Allstar Golddiggers 3-2

Two things happened yesterday that have not occurred in quite some time. The Honey Badgers rocked their white kits, and they lost a game. It was a pretty good match as the Honey Badgers had some key members missing and their opponents came prepared with about 20 subs. After going down 3-0, Cameron Road decided…

Dos a Cero. Honey Badgers Edge Closer to League Title After Saying Night Night to Juventus.

Another week. Another win. Another shutout. Another step closer to the title. Stop me if you’re heard this before. Cameron Road United are on such an incredible run that it is literally sending shockwaves throughout the sporting world. Fans in Leicester City are calling their improbable run to the EPL title, “doing a honey badger”….

Honey Badgers Enjoy Some Down Home Country Livin’ As They Dismantle Rovers 5-0 And Keep The Pressure On The Dragons In An All Out, Epic, Race To The Title

Knowing that they could not afford a letdown after dismantling the Dragons, Captain Chappy took a page out of Alex Ferguson’s latest book on leadership and decided to stoke the flames within the team. In a pure act of altruism, he purposely severely injured his back lifting massive amounts of iron at CrossFit on Saturday….

Cameron Road Destroys Dragons 6-0! Clark Field Trophy Safe and Sound Back at Honey Badger Headquarters. All Is Right With The World.

Call it fate. Call it destiny. Call it sweet sweet revenge. Whatever superlative you slap on it, for 90 glorious minutes Cameron Road United basked in pure, white-hot footballing nirvana as they dismantled the Dragons, reclaimed their trophy, and moved to within one point of first place atop the Over 30B table.

Honey Badgers on a Heater – Beat Phoenix for 4th Straight Win

On a positively NEMPish day at Onion Creek, where winter made a brief return and breathed out her last, cold breath, Cameron Road United rode their hot streak for their fourth consecutive victory of the season. With the news of a full Dragon collapse on field #5, the Honey Badgers knew they could make up…

No Subs, No Problem. Honey Badgers Smother Takoba With A Triple Dose Of Derek In A 3-1 Win

It was early. It was cold. It was NEMP. There were no subs. There was no keeper. Ciro forgot his jersey. All of these first world problems were facing the Honey Badgers as they lined up for this morning’s game. Thanks to BT, Cameron Road thought they had 11, but the chopper from the Easy…

Second Half Comeback Not Enough As Honey Badgers Fall 3-4 to ATX United

For the second week in a row, Cameron Road was given an early wakeup call for an 8am game. This time around, they faced the tall trees of ATX United. In a show of solidarity, those early to the field determined CRU would suit up in their white, blue and red kits to pay tribute…

Slaughtered. Cameron Road Wins 5th In A Row With 3-0 Win Over Rovers.

The Soccer Gods briefly suspended monsoon season and allowed a 24-hour window of playability at Onion Creek yesterday. The fields were lush and lumpy, like a bowl of steel cut oats served with some of Luke’s Grandmother’s hot biscuits. Kickoff was a crisp and early 8am. The opponent, Slaughter Rovers, were clad in strange black…