A Night At the Oscars – CRU 2 – ATX United 0

And the Oscar goes to….

BEST PASS TO A PLAYER IN AN OFFSIDE POSITION: Chappy, for his wonderful “assist” to Andy for a “goal” early in the second half. Apparently, Andy was offside by a good 15 yards.

BEST WEAPON ON A WINDY DAY WHEN LUKE’S THROW-IN IS UNAVAILABLE: The Peterson Goal Kick, which was cutting through the wind all day long.

BEST TUMBLE: Ciro, for getting destroyed inside the box.

BEST INSULT TO AN OPPONENT NEARLY RESULTING IN A BENCH-CLEARING BRAWL: Ryan Willis, for his timely comments directed towards a not-so-skinny ATX player at the end of the game.

BEST USE OF SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS TO ANYONE OTHER THAN THE REFEREE: Jake

BEST COMEBACK GOAL: Steve McKenna for his wonderful second half strike.

WORST COMEBACK MISS: Steve McKenna for his sitter.

BEST COMMITMENT TO WORRYING ABOUT THE FUCKING DEFENSE: Danimal

BEST DRESSED: Andy, for not having any uniform infractions this week

BEST FREE KICK: BT, for sending one right into Jefe’s junk.

BEST POST-GAME WINNING TRIO: Billy, Jefe and Jay, who are probably still at NEMP

BEST USE OF SHOTS NOT RESULTING IN A GOAL: Adam

BEST SIZED SKULL FOR OUR TIGHT-ASS BASEBALL HATS: Derik

BEST PLAYER WHO ACTUALLY RESEMBLES A HONEY BADGER ON THE PITCH WHEN HE PLAYS: Chris G, who was running around like a tenacious beast all day with cobra’s blood on his fangs.

SPECIAL LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FOR SHOTS DIRECTED RIGHT AT THE KEEPER’S HANDS: Ciro, in a landslide

And there you have it. The Academy has spoken and the winners are in! Congratulations to all the big winners.