Honey Badgers Ride Wave of Jefe Birthday Exhilaration to 3-2 Comeback Win Versus the Red Devils!
In case anyone hadn’t heard, yesterday was Jefe’s birthday. First to the field, and most likely last to leave, Jeff had a memorable one for sure.
The Honey Badgers were trying to make it three in a row to start the season after playing well in their opening two matches. The regular cast of characters were all present, and with Danimal getting a late start birthday boy Jefe started in the heart of the defense. Big Dave also returned to the pitch, which was perfect timing since Chris G was out of town. Peterson and Billy rounded out the D.
The Red Devils are a bit of a mystery, they seem to have some good players, but their chemistry was all out of wack. Might explain their residence at the bottom of the table. The Honey Badgers quickly tried to take advantage of this disharmony by throwing everything at them in the first half.
Derek was a one man cutback machine, breaking ankles at every opportunity on his way to his opening goal from such a tight angle that he had to bust out a protractor to get it just right. He was terrorizing the defense all day long as was his striking partner, Steve McKenna, who seems to be getting stronger with each game. Steve also had a nice crack at goal from a tight angle, this time on the left side of the 6 yard box – but his effort was saved.
There were some other nice moments in the opening 20 minutes: BT fired wide from distance. Ryan played Andy in with a great cross field pass that just went off his boots. Danimal showed up and solidified the defense. And Ciro most likely shot the ball right at the keeper.
On one insane play inside the Red Devil’s box, Cameron Road had about 5 chances to score within 10 seconds, including Derek clanging one off the crossbar.
On yet another occasion, Derek took the ball on the right hand side and slid it across the box where Chappy was lurking. A one-time left-footed finish to the roof of the net from the Captain put the Honey Badgers up 2-0 and the game was seemingly out of reach for the beguiled Red Devils.
Adam’s halftime speech was as motivational as ever. “Does anyone want some oranges?”
Brilliant! Like a page straight out of Knute Rockne’s book! Take note Zeke.
With that, the team was frothing at the mouth to get the second half started and wrap up this birthday win for Jefe.
But it wouldn’t be all cake and ice cream, as the Red Devils had other plans for Jefe’s special day. And with two quick goals in the opening 10 minutes of the half, they were back on level terms.
What happened next couldn’t have been written better by Shakespeare himself. The Honey Badgers were gaining momentum and went looking for the game winning goal. Derek was back terrorizing the defense, and BT had a pop from close range, but the Honey Badgers just couldn’t find the back of the net.
With a moment of brilliance, Ciro bedazzled the Red Devils with a move that set him free of his defenders, and he played in a ball to Steve McKenna on the left of the box. Steve barged his way towards goal with Chappy calling for the cross at the back post. Steve cut the ball back across the face of the goal where Chappy was waiting to tap it home, when off in the distance, a hawk screeched (most likely it was Peyton in Warg form, returning from a trip to the lake to wish Jefe happy birthday). And like a hawk, Jefe swooped down from the Spirit World, clutching the white, plush mane of Falcor, his shaman from the other side. At just the right moment, Jefe dismounted, and began his gallop towards the goal, past Chappy, and into the path of the incoming cross. With a beautiful kiss off his right foot, Jefe sent the ball rolling into the bottom right corner, past the keeper, for the go-ahead goal. What ensued could only be described as pure, white hot joy, as the team celebrated with Jefe as the stars all lined up for one brief, birthday moment.
Even though they were back up 3-2, the game was far from over, and the team would still have to ride a bit more of Jefe’s birthday luck to see out victory.
Trying to get a little more breathing room, the Honey Badgers pushed for another goal to close out the game. Chappy took a nice boot to the face while trying to scoop up a header from 6″ off the turf, and Ryan was busy winning headers from midfield in an attempt to push the ball forward. But it was a bizarre, weird and wacky play at the other end of the field that emphasized that this would be Jefe’s day.
Okay, so that we’re all on the same page, and in case anyone in the DA’s office asks, here’s what happened. Billy swung wildly at a ball with absolutely no intent of playing it back to Jaybone. Jaybone headed the ball up in the air, and as it was coming back down to earth towards the back of the net following the laws of gravity, he punched it away with one mighty fist. With all eyes on the referee and linesman, play continued and heartbeats resumed. Of course, the Red Devils went ballistic, thinking that Billy intentionally played the ball back to Jay to handle. But we all know Billy would never do that, what a crazy idea!
And with that bit of danger out of the way, the referee called the game and Cameron Road escaped with one of the greatest birthday wins of all time.
Man-of-the-Match: In case you didn’t know it, it was Jefe’s birthday and he SCORED A GAME WINNING GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Post Game Report. In what can only be described as the greatest birthday ever, Jefe continued his hot streak with an epic post-game sideline viewing of the Dragons and The Hooligans. Half encouragement for our friends, half torment for the holders of our trophy, Jefe’s exuberance was on full display as “The Green Machine” fought back from two goals down to tie the mighty Dragons and half their streak of 11 consecutive victories. The weight of the trophy must be getting to them, and finally a chink in the armor appears with the April 10th derby match looming.
Quote of the Day: Following the inspirational, moving and near tear-jerking rendition of the halftime speech given by Zeke on the Dragon’s sideline, Jaybone dropped these words of wisdom.
“Don’t trust anybody! You never know what’s going to happen.”
The BT Addendum
After some research I was able to unearth some ancient scribblings that may be a clue to what Ciro did yesterday in the moments immediately preceding Jefe’s amazing birthday goal. It is difficult to make out all of it, and it is in a poorly understood dialect, but the loose description of Ciro’s move appears to be “interstellar explosive swirl juke”. A perhaps less poetic but more direct translation has it at “Twisted feint, awash in sudden light from the stars”. A more recent description simplifies the text as simply, “nuke”.Additionally, it appears that the execution of such maneuvers was reserved for “the giant masters” who were believed to visit from the heavens. I fear Ciro has breached an ancient protocol, and although the apparent punishment is sustaining a weekly ice bath, I think we can all agree that it was worth it. Considering the number of ice baths already administered, it appears that this event was destined and the punishment had been meted out in anticipation of the eventual crime.
Congrats on the win, the jukes, the goals, the honey-bear rants, the Billy/Jay no call, the DA shove+yellow card combo, the missed dragon PK “A la LUNA!!!”, and generally one of the greatest double tree line afternoons I have ever witnessed at Onion Creek.Happy Birthday Jefe! Watch your back Ciro…
