Honey Badgers in the Mist – Gigi Hat Trick Dries Up Deep Eddy
As the mysterious mist descended upon Manor, Cameron Road United defeated Deep Eddy 3-1 with one game to go in this glorious, championship campaign.
A rare EMP game in Manor, coupled with the cryptic fog, set the game back a few minutes as players and referees trickled in. Like last week, CRU featured an abbreviated team with only one sub. Luckily, at game time, Luke threw off his street clothes and donned his Honey Badger blues in a move that is commonly known as “sacking up” to bolster the squad and give us a fighting chance to start the game.
The lineup featured another European tandem up top as Z and Gigi were partnered once again. The midfield (from left to right) was Chappy, Ciro, Ryan and Luke. The backline was Jefe, Cuyler, Danimal and Billy with Jay between the sticks. Peterson showed up and was the go-to sub for anybody who needed an initial rest.
Besides the mostly gray haired Deep Eddy heads in disturbingly neon green jerseys, Cameron Road had to put up with a number of other foul conditions including the fog, some soggy ant hills every 10 feet, a moat underneath Jay’s feet, and a thin layer of gravel underneath the patchy grass.
Still, Cameron Road came out guns blazin’ trying to strike early. Chappy could have put the Honey Badgers up first, but he ballooned Stripy’s excellent pass straight up into the air from inside the box. The majority of Cameron Road’s attacking play came down the right as Billy and Luke tried to get in behind the elderly Deep Eddy back lines.
After some back and forth play, it was the Italian Stallion who was in the right place to poke in the ball as the keeper spilled it back into play. Gigi was elated to finally get his name on the goals chart and he wasn’t done after the first goal.
As the fog lifted for the second half, Cameron Road looked to use the big Manor field to their advantage, spreading the ball to the edges and then trying to find players darting through the lines. There were several Danimal sightings inside the box, and Zoran and Gigi were running hard up top trying to find creases.
To their credit, Deep Eddy followed a very simple strategy: get the ball to #3, their attacking midfielder/forward. This guy may have been short on stature, but he was one of the better players CRU has faced all season. All of Deep Eddy’s best moves went through him, but as he found out throughout the course of the game, any one player can be neutralized…. especially when he’s trying to win headers against the monstrous central defensive pairing of The Kraken and Danimal.
With an absolutely killer through ball that would have made Dennis Bergkamp smile, Billy sent Gigi and Zoran racing towards goal. Gigi latched onto the ball like Luke snatching up the last hot biscuit on his Grandmother’s kitchen table and headed towards goal. Unfortunately, he was fouled inside the box before shooting, but he was awarded a p/k for his efforts. Gigi stood over the ball and with a Most Interesting Man in the World grin said “I don’t always get to take penalty kicks, but when I do I prefer to kick it straight down the middle.” 2-0 Cameron Road.
And to top off his glorious afternoon, Gigi saved his best for last as he patiently cut the ball back in front of the keeper and slid in goal #3. With the game all but out of reach for Deep Eddy, Cameron Road settled into a defensive perimeter around Jay, but the defenses were breached on the back post as their #3 finally got his goal for all his efforts.
With some ruff and tumble play near the end that saw Ryan and Danimal both tussle with the enemy, Cameron Road wrapped up the game and headed to the sidelines to celebrate. With plenty of beers and nothing to do but try to hit each other with soccer balls, throw each others shoes into the trees, and admire each others sunglasses, you just knew that someone was gonna drive home in some soaking wet shorts. That person, happened to be…… Ciro. (I mean, did you think it would be anybody else?)
With a clever team tactical diversion, Chappy grabbed the cooler full of frigid water, pulled off an end around, and proceeded to douse the unsuspecting midfielder with a deluge of ice cold water for what seemed like an eternity. It was, without question, the Captain’s best play of the day.
Man-of-the-Match: GIGI!! You score a hat trick, you get some pub.
