Honey Badgers are Champions Again!
Cameron Road United were crowned Over 30B Champions on Sunday after brushing aside Bat City 3-1 in their final game of the season. It was quite a ride for the Honey Badgers, who made up close to 10 points from the start of the Spring Season to surge back up the table with a blistering nine game unbeaten run. It was pure bring back Jon Snow from the dead magic.
The Honey Badgers learned that they had all but wrapped up the title four hours before their game even started, as the Dragons last gasp at leapfrogging them came up just short. With an insurmountable goal differential, there was nothing the other teams tied with CRU could do to win the title, but the Honey Badgers wanted to win it outright on the pitch.
The troops started to assemble early. There was probably a full squad ready to go an hour before kickoff. Championship fever was in the air.
The game, in what could be considered a victory lap for Cameron Road, started off lively as the Honey Badgers desperately wanted to jump ahead of Bat City early. Cameron Road were the more powerful side, creating chances and dominating play. Gigi, Derek and McKenna were getting inside the box, Chappy returned to the lineup and let off two early shots, the midfield was pinging passes around, and the defense stood firm at the back.
After 30 minutes of coming close, the Honey Badgers needed something special to open up the Bat City defense, and they provided the crowd with a thrilling piece of one touch football that would make Pep Guardiola smile.
BT received a goal kick at midfield and lofted the ball to Gigi. Gigi one touched the ball back to BT. BT got the ball to Andy. And Andy flicked the ball back into BT’s path for him to smash into the back of the net. The ball may have literally only hit the deck once. You will not see a more beautiful team goal this side of Barcelona.
Within minutes, the Honey Badgers were back at it again. This time scoring the exact opposite of BT’s majestic, free-flowing masterpiece.
McKenna smacked a header off the crossbar. Somehow, Chappy found himself lying down in the goal, face-up. With the ball coming back down to earth, Chappy sort of shimmied his way up into a sitting position and the ball clanged off some part of his body located between the forehead and the gut. This year has been so special for the Honey Badgers that they could literally score while lying down.
A two goad lead at the half seemed insurmountable, but give Bat City credit, they came out strong in the second half and tried to make a game out of, hitting the Honey Badgers with an early goal to cut the lead to one goal.
From here, the game turned into an unfortunate series of events as Bat City desperately wanted to ruin Cameron Road’s championship party.
First up, Dermot received some sort of strange taunt as he was told to “go back to his rental house in Circle C”. Not the most intimidating of snaps.
Next up, Billy took an elbow to the face that sent him to the canvas like Mike Tyson facing Buster Douglass. The Bat City player earned himself a straight red, and credit to Billy who displayed Championship Character by only having to be slightly restrained after the incident and stayed in the game.
Finally, Bat City’s #3 was on a mission to win Douche of the Game, and was jawing at Ryan on the sideline after the Milton Incident. As Ryan collected a ball on the sideline and “handed it” to #3 to take his throw in, #3 gave Ryan a bit of a shove. As he took the pitch after his throw in, Captain Chappy took a step onto the field and returned the favor as the red mist descended upon him. Not the smartest thing to do while sitting on a yellow card, but Peyton approved the retaliation. Following up that incident, #3 received a constant stream of constructive criticism and critique every time he touched the ball from the Cameron Road sideline.
So at 2-1 and tempers on a knife’s edge, the game was still up for grabs. They Honey Badgers needed that final goal to settle things.
Derek and Gigi were coming close with runs inside the box, and it was Gigi who finally came good as Andy got him the ball to smash top shelf to restore the two goal lead.
At 3-1, the game was pretty much over as Bat City were reduced to 10 men facing a wall of Honey Badgers in defense. Like they have done all season, the back line did not budge as Danimal, Jefe, Chris, Billy, Dave Luke and Jay made life nearly impossible for Bat City.
As the final whistle blew on the 90 minute affair, the Honey Badgers took time to savor the enormity of their accomplishment. They came a long way from that initial beat down from the Dragons to open the season and earned their second championship in 4 years. Glory Glory Cameron Road.
The Championship Post Match
There was champagne, there was beer, there was sausages and mystery meat. There were awards to hand out (Gigi for the Golden Boot and Danimal for MVP). There were ice baths that defied logic: Ciro getting Chappy for once. And ice baths that were to be expected: Chappy giving it back to Ciro in a Niagara Falls like deluge. There was a running commentary on the 4:00 game, and somehow Chappy managed to get two players ejected with his witty barbs aimed at a youngster. A sideline first! (“Come back when you get your braces off” wins follow-up line of the year). There was #service from Verity. There was Jefe’s family. But most of all there was one happy bunch of Honey Badgers savoring the moment.
