Badgers Batter Cosmos 3-1 In Preparation For Next Week’s Clark Field El Classico (Alternative Chris Peterson Supplied Title: Hope Floats 2: The Blood Letting)
On Sunday, with the “Avenge Carlos” battle cry ringing out in the Badger’s ears, Cosmos never stood a chance. Nineteen Honey Badgers assembled to kick off this season for real, and within 3 minutes of the starting whistle, the score was 2-0 Cameron Road.
The Spirit of Carlos descended upon the William Cannon traffic light corridor and held up Cosmos’ Herculean keeper. In his early five minute absence, the Honey Badgers showed no mercy and wasted no time dismantling Cosmos’ spirits with two rapid-fire goals. First Andy pounced on the first loose ball of the game as it came off their substitute keeper, shoveling it into Steve McKenna’s path. Steve wasted no time with a delicate touch and knocked it into the back of the net for the opening goal in the opening minute.
Big Dave quickly doubled the score a mere minute later with the first thundering sonic boom off his pearly white new Puma Kings. After traveling 40 yards in the air, the shot took just the right bounce in front of the shellshocked keeper to lift it right over his head and back into the net for goal number two.
Two goals up in three minutes without half the squad even getting a kick.
From there, Cosmos put up a better fight, but there would be no way back from the opening salvo, even after their regular keeper finally got himself planted between the sticks.
Cameron Road was able to throw wave after wave of fresh legs into the game, which helped keep Cosmos on their heels. There were shots galore, with both the midfield and strikers attacking the Cosmos goal. At one point, Peterson lashed out a 40 yard free kick right to Adam’s dome, but the recent shaving of his Badger fro thwarted the trajectory of the ball.
Up by two goals at the half, Badgerville was in high spirits.
The Honey Badgers soaked up some pressure in the second half as Cosmos looked to get back into the game. Jefe and Co. were dominating the back, but Cosmos did manage to get back into the game as Ryan sent a scorched earth back pass to Jay from 30 yards out that somehow managed to elude his feet.
No worries though, as Cameron Road didn’t panic and continued to press forward in numbers. Jake made a brilliant coast-to-coast back post run that ended in a shot, Gigi and Derek pressed forward looking for goals, and Scott Merritt put some serious mustard on a left-footed shot that sailed just a bit to outside.
The final nail in the coffin came as BT smashed a shot towards the keeper who could only parry it back out into play. From there, Steve McKenna nailed his second goal of the game with the outside of his right boot that would have made Luis Suarez smile with those gargantuan beaver-dam gnawing chompers.
With the injury to Carlos avenged, Gigi had one more chance to add to the tally, but his final breakaway shot sailed…. come on, everybody say it with me…. “STRAIGHT TO DA MOON!!!!”
It was a fantastic way to get ready for next week’s Clark Field El Classico with the Punters. You do not want to miss that one.
Man-of-the-Match: Two goals and some strong defense showed just what Steve McKenna can do when he finds his groove.
