Danimal Quote-a-thon, Bluebonnets, And A Honey Badger Comeback To Tie The Gunners 1-1

Ah, it’s springtime in Austin. You know, where it’s 40 degrees and freezing on Saturday, and 75 and sunny on soccer Sunday. Where the flowers are in full bloom and there’s not a worry on an ill word on anyone’s mind. Where peace and harmony reign supreme and middle aged men stand together, hand-in-hand, to enjoy a lovely afternoon of the beautiful game.

Yeah right.

None of that was on display yesterday (except the nice weather) as the Gunners and Cameron Road United took part in their bi-annual Roman Colosseum battle to the death. The Gunners have both feet firmly planted in Over 30 B, but that’s what makes them such a tricky opponent. You never know when they’re going to snap out of it and get so sick and tired of losing that they actually play a good game.

Over on the Cameron Road side, the Honey Badgers fielded all 19 players in a pre-match tour de force display of tentless Badgertown, complete with the remnants of Jake’s birthday cake (“I’M HAVING CAKE WITH MY FRIENDS!!!”)

With so many players available, it was a little hard for Cameron Road to get into their silky passing game and so the Gunners enjoyed some time on the ball while the Honey Badgers made a habit out of finding new and interesting ways to lose it.

Gunners did have a skillful forward who was able to cause some problems, but Danimal and New Chris were licking their chops at the challenge. If Chris wasn’t running the attacker down, Danimal was heading the ball away to safety. There were a few early tussles inside the Honey Badger box, and Danimal let lose his initial (and most memorable) quote of the day after taking offense to a Gunner foul.

But he was just getting started. To add a little spice to the match, the referee decided to hand out a pair of yellow cards to Ciro and BT for, wait, subbing? Seriously? This is what it’s come to…. the referee walked all the way back to the sidelines to show BT a yellow card because he didn’t look him square in the eyes as he was subbing on our throw in. Never seen that before. Somebody was having himself a power trip.

At the other end, when not being called for offside 95 times, the Honey Badgers nearly scored with a pair of Derek close range shots. The second one was at a really right angle, but Sweet D almost put it in anyway.

Miguel also had a go with a free kick, but the wind caught it and it sailed somewhere onto field 3.

The Honey Badgers wasted a few corners at the end of the half, but it allowed Danimal to coin his latest catchphrase, which is really calling out for a bumper sticker.

Oranges.

The second half started to heat up as both teams were guilty of some pretty sloppy stuff. It weren’t pretty as two completed passes seemed be the going exchange rate on the pitch. To add to the sloppyness, Peterson slipped on a banana peel on his way to the sidelines like he was auditioning for the next Dumb and Dumber sequel. It was pure comedy gold.

Jaybone made a fantastic, full-stretch finger tip save to push a Gunner shot over the bar, and the Honey Badgers survived a crazy sequence in front of their goal defending a corner kick which may or may not have included a few hand balls that went unpunished. Without a goal on the other end, they were starting to ride their luck. But then, their luck ran out as one of Danimal’s 58 headers skimmed his hand on the way out and the referee awarded the Gunners a penalty.

After they scored it to go up 1-0, you could tell Danimal was, um, how should we put it… a little fired up. This came into full focus when he fouled a Gunner in their area, apologized, and ran back to his defensive home. But the referee wanted to have a little chat with him. Instead, Danny gave us another gem as he repeated over and over

The Honey Badgers fired up the old comeback machine and went balls out to grab the tying goal. BT was getting in deep and looking to cross the ball, and New Brian had a pop from distance to try and test the keeper. But in a moment of pure poetic justice, Danimal avenged himself as he found himself on the business end of a fantastic Cameron Road counter attack.

Jaybone released the ball to Jefe on the left hand side. Jefe found Chappy in front of him down the pitch. With Danny screaming for the ball ahead of him, Chappy set him up with a ball to his left foot inside the box and BOOM…… Danimal sent that shit past the keeper the tying goal. You ever see those nature shows where an alligator snatches up some kind of prey, and his eyes roll back white as he rolls and splashes with wild abandon? Put a yellow jersey and some cleats on that ol’alligator and you’ve got Danimal’s reaction. Ecstasy.

With 10 minutes to go, the game got even nastier, as both teams pushed for the win. BT whipped in a cross across the face of goal that McKenna almost got a toe to for the winner.

Jake was the recipient of another yellow card on near the sidelines, but the referee decided to take his time writing it up, prompting Danny to deliver his next joyous zinger.

Back to the action as the game was coming to a close. With precious seconds left on the clock and the Honey Badgers defending their point, Danimal was the recipient of his second yellow card of the day, but he did provide the team with one, final parting gift.

It wasn’t three points, but the Honey Badgers continued their unbeaten run, and had an impressive comeback in a not-so-beautiful game that more resembled the Anchorman street fight scene. Three games to go against Verity, Chopped Liverpool and Phoenix before this season is in the books. Hopefully, the Honey Badgers can shore up their passing game and keep on fighting for a top four finish…. ahead of the Punters of course.

Man-of-the-Match: Well, there was just so much of the game about Danimal that it seems fitting, doesn’t it? And let’s not forget that war chest of beer.

Post-Match-Report: With sunny skies and birthday cakes, you’d think the sidelines would be a place of tranquility, as everyone calmly basked in the glory of a hard fought comeback. Shit man, this ain’t no Punter sideline, we like to tear shit up! Andy got his sweatshirt soaked. Chappy went home covered in birthday cake. Danimal discussed baby strollers with Bret. The team got a wild idea about a bluebonnet photo, and Ciro has never been happier about saving two penalty kicks from a bare-footed Derek.