Honey Badgers Rebound with 3-1 Win Over Cosmos

There was more trouble in the Cosmos on Sunday as the footballing version suffered the same fate as the late Cassini satellite – only this one burned up in the fiery clutches of the Honey Badger defense instead of Saturn’s atmosphere.

Another day, another lineup change. This week, the Honey Badgers were missing most of last week’s defense, but the additions of Danimal, Scott and Big Dave were more than enough to solidify the back line.

On the other side of the ball, Cameron Road welcomed Miguel to their striking force. Miguel didn’t see eye-to-eye with ATX United’s corporate structure, so Jefé snatched him up and brought him home to Badgertown. Brian was also back after recovering from his hip stinger from last week.

From the get-go, Cameron Road employed their offside trap. No, not the high line of defense, but rather an onslaught of Honey Badgers tempting fate by being called offside. This strategy was intended to bewilder and confuse Cosmos by showing Cameron Road’s willingness to be unpredictable and not give a shit for the rules of the game. A brilliant tactical nuance for sure.

The Honey Badgers were looking solid to start the game, and threatened early as Chappy got in deep on the right side of the box, but his one time “pass” to the back post found only a nice green patch of grass to roll into…. much to the chagrin of Verity’s remaining players on the sidelines. There were other attacks as Derek weaved his way into good spots, but the combination of the constant stream off offsides (again…. strategic) and the lack of that final killer pass were stopping the Honey Badgers from finishing off the plays.

It wasn’t long before Miguel started to show off his quality as he dropped deep to get the ball and was working well with the other forwards and midfielders. Cutting in from the left, he rifled a shot to the far uppper ninety that was only saved by the crossbar.

As things heated up on the pitch, the scene on the sideline was also interesting. Turns out, that Messi speaks clean and crisp English when he wants to bum a few beers for his thirsty Verity teammates. His pre-noon ice chest raid will be addressed in the Post Match Report.

As the half ended, the Honey Badgers were feeling confident in their play. They clearly had the best attacking chances, and the defense was looking solid. Especially with Danimal and Scott cleaning things up in the center.

All was not well however, as the oranges seemed a bit flat and devoid of their usual flavanoid bursting tanginess.

As good as Cameron Road was playing in the first half, they fell victim to a bit of a bouncing blunder to start the second as Cosmos gathered the ball inside the Cameron Road area after a dubious throw in (which I’m quite sure Bret is still trying to persuade to someone that was illegal) and managed to bungle the ball home for the opening goal.

Unfortunately for them, they Honey Badgers prefer to chase a game rather than defending an early lead (see last week), and so they went searching for the tying goal.

New Brian picked up where he left off last week (no, not face down at the corner flag), and continued his solid play on the ball. He got the ball into Adam’s path, who was able to head it back into play off the byline to Ciro. Ciro’s employed Chappy’s famous sliding shot to drill the ball past the keeper and tie up the score.

And just like that the Honey Badgers were back int he game, but they weren’t done yet.

Ciro was involved in the next goal as he weaved his way into the right side of the box and was chopped down by a defender with a kick to his shins that reverberated off every car in the parking lot. New man Miguel stepped up to take the penalty kick scored to the keeper’s right, but the referee blew the whistle to move the ball closer to the line. No worries as he then scored again with a shot to the left that put the Honey Badgers up 2-1.

Up a goal, the Honey Badgers could sense the tide turning and went about finishing Cosmos off. Ryan, who fancied himself as the Over 40 Dani Alves, went on a one man suicide mission after intercepting a ball in his own half. Sprinting down the line with his Martin Sheen hair flowing in the wind, Ryan eventually ran out of space, but his deep probing run had the desired effect on the Cosmos back line.

Miguel again showed his quality as he picked up the ball in midfield and saw an opening in the Cosmos defense. He unloaded a rocket from 30 yards that beat the keeper to the far corner to put the Honey Badgers up 3-1. Consider his contract approved.

Cosmos did have a nice chance off a free kick, but they were turned back by Chappy’s one meaningful contribution of the game as he basically stood still and let the shot bounce off his chest as he cleared the ball off the line to Jaybone’s right.

Up 2 goals, BT announced that the plan was to “pass them to death” to finish out the game. Acres of space opened up as Cosmos wore down, and the Honey Badgers were able to see off the match with relative ease.

Nice to get back on the winning track and score some goals. The Punters loss didn’t hurt either. Big matchup next week with the Johnny Footballess Chopped Liverpool up in Pflugerville.

Man-of-the-Match: Not a bad debut for “the new guy” Miguel. 5 shots, 2 goals, 1 off the crossbar and 1 saved off the line by the keeper. Great starts by both of the newest Honey Badgers!

Post-Match-Report: Damn if Messi didn’t return the favor and show up with a case of Modelo…. bottles no doubt. Classy move. There were also late breaking reports of a Ciro ice bath – courtesy of Danimal – so it looks like all is right with the world again, for a week.