Guardians of the Galacticos – Honey Badgers Thrill Crowds With Blazing Hot Goals

2:00 on a July afternoon. That’s why you sign up for Summer Soccer. There’s no hiding from the heat, and if you can make it through the game without having a heat stroke, the post-game beers are that much more delicious (unless Andy hands you some sort of crushed up sweet tart /zima mash up beer).

With their beloved spiritual leader, Jefe, on a mountain sojourn in ColoRADo, good old Steve McKenna was first on the scene to set up Badgertown and choose the day’s colors. Let there be white he proclaimed, and so Cameron Road took to the pitch in their USA inspired kit, knowing that the cooling elements of the lighter jerseys could provide the 2 degree difference needed to overcome the purple people eaters of Galacticos.

Cameron Road was starting off strong, employing Danimal in yet another summer positional change as he slotted in at right back. The overlap with Chappy was in play early, as the Honey Badgers worked to expose their less fit opponents.

Another week, another disallowed goal. This time, Andy found Chappy for a tap in at the back post, but ol’baldy was offside. Well, at least the referee claimed it from his vantage point 20 yards away. Obviously, he was on.

But the Honey Badgers wasted no time in making up for the lost goal as Billy worked his way inside the box to cross it to a screaming Danimal who had made a blazing run down the pitch. Danimal got himself into perfect position to stab the ball home past the keeper and up the Honey Badgers up 1-0.

Next, Derek worked the ball down the left of the box again and smashed in a shot that was poked home by a Galacticos defender. We’re calling it an assist, and it was 2-0 to Cameron Road.

On the sidelines, a troubling development was happening as Badgertown was being invaded by the Dragons and their tent. Nasty Nate, Jorges (“TOO MANNY”), Drew and the boys are always a welcome addition, although the “Voodoo Water” that Zeke was peddling had no takers.

McKenna was also having a dangerous game up front, and Billy couldn’t pull off the scoop free kick, so the score remained 2-0 at the half.

Adams Oranges.

The second half kicked off with Nasty Nate kindly allowing Chappy to kill off the last of his Modelo Especial – a key energy boost to events that would unfold in the future.

Galacticos actually cut the lead in half as their 14 year old forward bounced off two Cameron Road defenders to nab a goal. But their joy was quickly cut short by a meteor shower of thunderous Honey Badger goals.

First up, Chappy scored the goal of his life, and miraculously it wasn’t with his head. Jake made a run down the right side and somehow managed to cross it across the pitch where Chappy was making a long back door run. With acres of space, Chappy gathered the ball up, took a touch to the inside, heard Ryan scream “back post!” from the sidelines, and let loose a 25 yard beauty into the right upper 90. Without even waiting for the ball to go in, Chappy immediately turned his back on the shot and ran to the sidelines to celebrate with Ryan and the rest of Badgertown. That shot might come around again in another 20 years.

Next, after laying down 50 odd cutbacks throughout the game, Derek took a more direct approach and smashed an 18 yarder past the goalie from a pretty difficult angle. 4-2 Honey Badgers and the route was on.

And if you thought Chappy’s long range goal was the shot of the game, here strode lil’Ciro down the center of midfield and absolutely crushed a 25 yard shot into the left upper 90 (NOT AT THE KEEPER!!!!”) to vie for the honors.

In amongst all that action, the rest of the team was lighting it up as well. McKenna was a little cursed in front of goal missing a sitter, but on another day he could have had a hat trick. Bret was busy getting a high boot for the 12th game in a row. Chris G was shutting down just about every other attack. Big Dave almost sent in the perfect cross for Chappy to head home (a little more pace please next time…. geez). Jaybone made his usual saves and put in an order for his custom CRU Duster. Andy tried to get in on the goal action, but his drilled shot was saved by the keeper, much to his dismay. “PINEAPPLE!!!!!!” was heard…. a lot.

Galacticos also scored another goal somewhere in there, it was actually a nice shot, but the last 15 minutes belonged to Ciro, as he stepped up to score his second goal of the day at the final whistle. The keeper made a mess of his goal kick and sent it right to Derek’s gut. Ciro scooped it up and made a Clark Field dash through the center of the defense to slot home the Honey Badgers 6th goal. What a day!

Badgertown was a joyous village during the post game as they celebrated their big win, but there was more to come.

It was SUMMER SWAG DAY! Hellz yeah. This year’s custom offering is a samurai-inspired Chappy/Jefe/Ciro collaboration. Props to Jefe for the lettering and to Ciro for the top-secret translation. Another year and the Honey Badgers will be looking good.

Next week there’s a tasty rematch with Beercelona at 8am. Let’s see if Cameron Road can keep the goals flowing.