Another Day at the Office: Honey Badgers Cruise to 3-0 Victory Against Lucky Lounge
Typical work day out at Onion Creek yesterday, here’s how it went.
8:15: Jefe arrives at Steve McKenna’s house, finds Steve in Liverpool boxer shorts, still mostly sleeping
8:29: Jefe and Steve arrive at Onion Creek to bless the field
8:47: Steve starts to feel the effects of riding with Jefe
9:37: Most other employees arrive for work
10:00: Time to punch the clock and get this day started!
10:04: Ryan sets the tone of the match with some serious hussle
10:10: Danimal arrives, late for work, doesn’t give a shit and immediately takes elevator down to salt mines
10:12: Chappy offside
10:22: Derek cut backs the keeper, faces open goal, and scores
10:26: Danimal makes wild charge into the box but is fouled for a p/k
10:27: Steve McKenna buries p/k
10:27: Work day is effectively over
10:28: Chappy offside
10:30: Peyton comes into game and within 30 seconds is running at the goal, passes to Jake at the far post for an open net – TO DA MOON!
10:31: Billy crowned “the Scottish Iniesta” from the sidelines
10:36: Ciro wins a header
10:39: Chappy offside
10:40: Ciro taken to ground by tubby #2
10:42: Derek goes one-on-one with the keeper, who grabs his tiny ankle as he cuts him back inside the box
10:42: The blind referee does not give a penalty, but rather calls it a dive
10:42-10:45: Chappy screams at referee
10:45: Lunch
10:55: Andy offside
10:57: Adam shoots ball at goalie, ball rolls at approximately 3mph
11:06: Linesman does not think Ryan is offside, yet referee calls him offside from 40 yards away
11:09: Peyton smartly lets ball roll by him as he is offside. Chappy watches in wonderment
11:10: Derek scores his second goal
11:20: Team searching for Steve McKenna – apparently asleep in break room
11:26: Chappy pays tribute to fallen legend with a Cruyff Turn #1
11:26:24: Chappy pays tribute to fallen legend with Cruyff Turn #2
11:26:45: Chappy pays tribute to fallen legend with Cruyff Turn #3
11:27: Chappy passes out
11:29: Dave sprints forward from deep in the heart of defense, runs 75 yards, shoots ball at goal. Unfortunately, goal not located in trees.
11:30: Danimal fouls the other team, tries to apologize and help player up. Referee gives him a yellow card
11:32: Danimal still yelling at referee
11:36: Chappy offside right in front of goal…. again
11:40: Chris G makes second defensive jailbreak play of the day as he sprints 75 yards with the ball down the right side before shooting
11:42: Work day over
11:52: Happy Hour Starts
12:15: Kolaches
12:25: Mustard packets start to fly
12:36: Ciro given first Spring Ice Bath
12:46: Steve McKenna wakes up
1:12: Plans made to watch Dragon game at 2:00
2:00: Dragon sideline invaded
2:45: Dragons find shoes, bags and folding chairs in trees
5:30: Jefe, presumably, goes home
11:00: Gigi texts Chappy from Italy, offering congratulations and a crazy story about his rental car
Man-of-the-Match: Many to choose from this week so it goes to the entire team.
