You’ve Got Mail – Peterson’s Personal Email Server Back Online As His Message To Chappy Is Received In Front of Goal. Honey Badgers Back On Top As They Beat Beercelona 1-0.
After two successive 1-goal defeats, the Honey Badgers were in desperate need of some of Luke’s Grandmother’s biscuits. (#metaphor) Facing Beercelona though, is no easy task. They were sitting pretty at the top of the Over 30A table and were coming off a summer thrashing of Cameron Road where they dropped 6 goals on the Honey Badgers.
Something needed to change, so Cameron Road donned their white tops (#slumpbuster) for the first time this season, oranges were back in play for halftime, Steve McKenna returned to the pitch (where, he pointed out, the Honey Badgers had gone 0-2 in his absence), Chappy wore brand new shorts, Ryan got a haircut, the tent had a new vibrant red logo, Billy actually wore blue shorts and New Chris got a Mike Tyson face tattoo. Okay, one of those things isn’t true, but Cameron Road were primed to turn this mini-slump around with these slight sideline modifications.
With only 3 subs, the Honey Badgers were looking a little thin on the sidelines, especially when Beercelona was packing their nest 20 deep.
The first order of business was to heed BT’s absentee instructions of securing a shutout. That task was going to be made even more difficult without Danimal, who was busy ramming his head into a brick wall to prepare for his post-concussion comeback. Not to worry, El Jefe and his merry band of defenders were more than up for the task. Billy, Big Dave and especially Chris G were ready for battle and shutout the Beercelona attack all day long like the wall Trump wants to build. (#tremendous)
The first half was an even affair, with Beercelona garnering the majority of attacking play. Jaybone made two simply amazing close range saves that set the tone for the defense. Billy was also having a whale of a game thwarting attacks with his silky Scottish fitbol. (#scoop)
Cameron Road’s play was much improved from last week’s passing disaster, and early on Ryan bossed the center of the pitch with some silky footwork. It was also good to have Steve McKenna back on the field, his calmness in attack was a constant asset. (#happybirthdayscouser)
Jefe was a field general in the center, and his first lieutenant Chris G was carrying out his instructions to a T, cutting off attacks, tracking down lose balls, and generally out-hustling everybody else on the pitch.
In the closing minute of the first half, Cameron Road carved out two fantastic chances. First, someone got the ball to Peterson at the top of the box, but his shot fizzed wide of the post. Then, Ciro did a fantastic job of keeping the ball in play and drove to the line to cross the ball to Chappy in the center of the box. But the Bald Dome of Power remained snakebitten as his header was only a glancing blow that also sailed wide. (#heartbreak)
Still, a 45 minute shutout to Beercelona gave the Honey Badgers hope for a positive result, and the oranges were a definite boost to the morale. (#feelslikehome)
Queue up the second half, and the Cameron Road were looking for a goal. After about 10 minutes, the Honey Badger’s started to press the issue and prowled around the Beercelona box like Donald Trump chasing down Hillary on the debate stage. (#shark)
As the ball went out of the back for a Cameron Road corner, Chappy fetched the ball and lobbed it to Peterson, who told him to “check his inbox” on his way to the corner flag. With a quick corner kick, Peterson #sentit #putitup to Chappy who was all alone at the top of the 6 yard box. This time, the Bald Dome of Power found it’s mark and he pushed a semi-powerful header towards the keeper at the far post. It looked like it would be saved, but lil’Ciro was busy shielding the keeper with his hulking frame, and the ball whizzed by him for the go-ahead goal. (#headerswingames)
1-0 Cameron Road
For the next 30 minutes, chances were at a premium. McKenna probably had the best of them, but for most of the half Cameron Road was busy holding onto their lead. Derek did make one deep run down the right side, but he was done in by the gravity of one of the massive Beercelona defenders at the end line. (#jupiterrulesthesolarsystem)
Jefe continued his brilliant Danimalless performance, heading balls away and scorching the earth with clearances. Andy filled in at right back and also helped turn back the Beercelona attack, which was growing more frustrated with each tick of the clock.
The Cameron Road Air Force also made an appearance, as 2 Chinooks and 3 Apache helicopters circled the field multiple times relaying tactical heat map information to the tent via the Hop Market App. (#apocalypsenow)
With the whole team giving maximum effort, the Honey Badgers rode out the clock and pulled off a very impressive 1-0 victory against Beercelona. Impressive. Super impressive.
And sitting back atop the table with 15 points and tied with Beerelona for first place, it might just be time to realize that the Honey Badgers are pretty damn good. (#secondhalfoftheseasonstrategicslidetothirdplacetoavoidpromotion)
Man-0f-the-Match: With an impressive defensive performance, Jefe has bestowed this week’s plaudits to New Chris for his tenacity, ruthlessness, utter Honey Badgerness. He was the team’s fangs today for sure.
Post Game: Thanks Travis. This was all set up to be the pinnacle of post-game heckling with the Punters playing after us. But with no Travis, no offense, and no Honey Badger joie de vivre, Cameron Road had to revel in cider, kolaches, Stella Artois, and the South Austin FC victory party. (#sadpunters)
