Galactic Meltdown as Badgers Lose 5-1

On the last melting hot weekend of this Texas-sized Indian summer, Cameron Road squared up against Galacticos for an early morning at Onion Creek. The mist rose like warm steam from a fresh plate of Luke’s Grandmother’s biscuits as Jefe and Jake warmed up in the pre-dawn hour.

The occupancy of Badgertown was looking sparse leading up to the game, but after a bucket or three made its way over the hill, there were four subs to draw upon.

Galacticos dawned the white of a mayonnaise bottle, but they played smoothly like Miracle Whip as the spread the ball around with their fancy passing and deep runs, trying to break through the Camron Road back line.

They had some good strikers who fancied a shot, and three of those later the Honey Badgers were looking at the business end of a three goal deficit. One of them however, was pretty unlucky as it was looking like a routine save until it was deflected in.

At the other end, Derek was cutting back as if his life depended upon it, Ryan struck a shot towards goal, and Gigi hustled his way around the pitch, but the Honey Badgers weren’t making the Galacticos keeper work too hard.

That is until Bret stood up in the buildup to a corner kick, first sending in a quality cross, and then setting up to take the corner kick himself. With Ciro-like precision, Bret sent in his corner kick with an inswinging bend right at the keeper, who wasn’t able to handle the ball as it sailed into the back of the net. A straight up goal off a corner kick! That’s some funky Badger shit at play to close out the half.

Speaking of the half, Adam and his arms failed to deliver the oranges from wherever he was, and so Cameron Road was forced to pass the time by actually talking to each other.

Devoid of precious flavenoids and energy boosting orange goodness, Cameron Road sought the two goals they needed to tie up the game.

The half started off like a Trump rally at a San Francisco sushi house, lots of yelling, screaming, fouling, and general not getting on with it play from both sides. The mood was tense and the Honey Badgers were off their game.

Still, they pressed forward looking for the sweet smells of cobra blood.

But there was still more bloodletting from the wounded badgers as Galacticos stuck again for the fourth time. And then a fifth.

Cameron Road probably played its best 20 minutes to close off the game, with Danimal going back into goal and Jaybone taking to the field. There were plenty of Badger attacks with opportunities to score.

Derek whipped in a free kick that the keeper played out to the feet of Gigi inside the six yard box, but the close range reaction shot went just wide.

Ryan got in deep and pulled a Ciro. Derek played a fantastic square ball to Chappy but his patented sliding shot sailed over the bar and into the stratosphere.

The chances were there, but the goals were not as Galacticos saw out the game and the Badgers went back to the tent to lick their wounds.

After some fireworks in the tent to try and set the focus for next week, the post-game slipped into the familiar. Andy was iced, Danimal inspected every beer for its canned date, Jefe counted out the morning’s bones, and too many Whiteclaws were consumed.

Hopefully the Honey Badgers have short memories, cause it’s officially rivalry week with THE PUNTERS up next on the schedule.

Man-of-the-Match: Your left back scoring from his corner kick for his first ever CRU goal? Hell yes Bret. Hell yes.