Honey Badgers Done In By CC (Chappy Catastrophe), Lose 3-2

For the second consecutive week, Cameron Road came up just a few plays short and again lost by 1 goal. It was another good game against two evenly matched teams, but this time out the Honey Badgers slick passing game was lost somewhere deep in the tree line and replaced by a battering ram approach.

With 6 subs nestled inside The Mullet to protect them from the scorching October sky, the Honey Badgers seemed primed for a good showing.

CC actually were on the front foot from the opening whistle, making charging runs into the box with their big forwards. New Chris was first to stand up the challenge as he was not backing down from any physical confrontations early on.

With the Honey Badger pass completion rate running at about 5%, BT decided to play some route 1 footy to Gigi and sent him free on goal with a thru-ball down the center of the pitch. Running it down as if he was being chased by a moose, Gigi latched onto it and sent his toe poke past the keeper for the opening goal of the game.

1-0 Cameron Road

The Honey Badgers tried to build on their momentum after the opening goal. One one play, Chappy called for Peterson to “Put it up”, but the message was rejected by the Peterson email server as the pass failed to reach ground escape velocity.

Later in the half, BT tried to play Willis down the right with a similar thru-ball, but Ryan forgot to pay October’s rent on his time machine and was stuck with his current 45 year old body. The ball exited the field left like a Red Barchetta at his uncle’s old country place.

Clinging to a 1 goal lead, the Honey Badgers were done in by a long range left footed blast from the top of the box to tie the score. Moments later, with the momentum changing sides to the blue half of the field, Jaybone made an amazing reflex save to deny CC another goal.

And so a good half ended all tied up, but with no oranges in sight, the Honey Badgers were hurting in the sweltering heat. Thanks Adam.

During the first 20 minutes of the second half, the wheels started to come off the Honey Badger express. CC United had a player who was basically one muscular thigh with a head. His combination of strength and skill was making him a constant threat down the center of the pitch, and he struck with a thunderous strike to give them the lead.

2-1 CC United

Moments later, if not for another incredible fingertip save by Jay to push it over the bar, the little fireplug would have further increased CC’s lead.

Instead, CC took a 2 goal advantage with some crafty work inside the box. As the ball fizzed back into play after a corner kick, Chappy found himself as the last man between the CC attacker and the goal. Taking a rather large bite of the attacker’s first move like Billy devouring a post game kolache with mustard, Chappy got spun around leaving Jay exposed. As a last resort, Chappy deployed his new “twerking defense” with his backside facing the oncoming kick, but his costly mistake put CC up by 2 goals.

3-1 CC United

Everyone knows that a cornered Honey Badger is the most dangerous, so Cameron Road started to press the issue looking for a goal to get back into the game. The Soccer Gods must have felt their desperation, because out of nowhere, a cobra was flung from the tree line that landed square in front of Derek as he weaved his way into the box. The shock of seeing the tender meal sent Derek into a rage of cutbacks. The CC defender had no choice but to chop him down and send him flying to the turf for a penalty kick.

Gigi again buried it on the eve of his Alaskan journey to give the Honey Badgers a lifeline.

3-2 CC United

For the last 15 minutes, Cameron Road was on fire. Danimal was a man possessed and his desperation to get the tying goal was on full display as he used his forehead as a cannonball to try and pry a header from the CC United keeper’s chest.

And with the last play of the game, BT found Chappy at the back post, but the Captain’s weak-ass header wasn’t enough to propel the ball past the line and keeper ended up making a save – completing Chappy’s blunders at both ends of the pitch. And with the very very last play of the game, the ball whizzed by the back post but there wasn’t a Honey Badger there to meet it’s acquaintance.

So another week with a frustrating close loss. The camp watched their next two opponents slug it out during the post game as Beercelona beat Verity. Hopefully the Honey Badgers can get back on track next week and regain the form of the first few weeks. On a positive note, Chappy prepared Gigi for his Alaskan journey in typical Honey Badger style with a frigid ice bath.

Man-of-the-Match: Without Jaybone’s two fantastic saves, the Honey Badgers wouldn’t have been in this game, so he adds another golden star to his trophy case.