Cameron Road Destroys Dragons 6-0! Clark Field Trophy Safe and Sound Back at Honey Badger Headquarters. All Is Right With The World.

Call it fate. Call it destiny. Call it sweet sweet revenge. Whatever superlative you slap on it, for 90 glorious minutes Cameron Road United basked in pure, white-hot footballing nirvana as they dismantled the Dragons, reclaimed their trophy, and moved to within one point of first place atop the Over 30B table.

There was only going to be one winner on Sunday, and Jefe wanted to make damn sure of it by hatching a ridiculous ploy to camp out ON THE FIELD the night before the game. With his handy hawk whisperer Peyton at his side, the two boys arrived Saturday afternoon to set up camp at the shady tree sitting alongside field 6. As they ate peyote and played chess by the moonlight, they foresaw every permutation of possible outcomes for the upcoming game. That knowledge was taken deep into the shimmering tree line where the giant Spirit Ents proclaimed victory would be theirs.

And so as game time approached on Sunday, the Honey Badgers started to assemble, with Jefe greeting each and every one. Five, ten, fifteen, nearly twenty Honey Badgers were in attendance for this must win match! There was an extremely rare noon Ben Lee appearance, McKenna was an hour early (well, he did have a ride), Chris G showed up even after running a 10K in the morning (well, I mean, he ran it in under and hour, so it’s not like he did that much work…) hell, even Danimal showed up twenty minutes before the game. You could feel the electricity on the CRU sidelines as they stared at the trophy on the distant Dragon sideline.

From the opening whistle, Cameron Road were on the front foot. Ciro was the early surprise midfield enforcer; winning balls, making tackles and keeping the elusive Yunir in his tiny hip pocket. The game was physical from the onset, with each team trying to establish their place as the alpha male soccer creature.

The Honey Badgers struck first blood within the first ten minutes as former Dragon and steal of the century, Derek played a ball over the top for Steve McKenna to run onto. As Steve continued his run at goal, Zeke left the safety of his line and ventured forward. In what is surely a candidate for goal of the year, Steve chipped the damn ball over the outstretched paws of the onrushing keeper from 25 yards out – some ninja shit that only works for players on tv.

1-0 Cameron Road and the die was cast.

For the next 15 minutes, both sides battled it out in typical, hard-nosed Clark Field fashion. On the Dragons side, Nasty Nate was dishing out his usual punishment, Drew was trying to get into scoring positions, and the Cuban Crockett and Tubbs were a feisty duo. But Danimal let it be know in typical beast-mode fashion that the day was not up for debate as he came out victorious after a 50/50 collision with Big Jorges. The look of pure intensity on his face after rising the victor of the challenging must have been frighting to all those in blue and white, but it only served to inspire the Honey Badgers to push harder.

Later in the half, Cameron Road was on the break and one of their bread and butter plays started to develop. Chappy was making a back post run down the left when he saw Peterson win the ball on the right. “PUT IT UP!!” was the call. And the call was answered loud and clear as Chris pumped in a wicked cross that was headed Chappy’s way. But before it could meet the Bald Dome of Power, a Dragon defender got a head on it. Unfortunately, Zeke had wandered into no-mans-land at the top of the box and had no chance at retrieving the ball before it soared into the far corner for goal #2.

2-0 Cameron Road.

Credit the Dragons for their resilience, for they did try and make a game of it in the dying embers of the first half. Yunir and company won multiple free kicks just outside the Honey Badger defenses, and for five minutes, it was the Jaybone Show in HD right in your friggin’ livingroom. First, he made a leaping save of a free kick to push it over the crossbar. And then, a few minutes later, he clawed an unbelievable double save that sent the sidelines into extacy and the Dragons into depression. As the free kick whipped in, Jay made a hands save, but wasn’t able to secure it. As the ball spilled out to Nasty Nate, just inches from the open goal, all of Honey Badger nation held their collective breath as the Dragons would surely get back into the game. But Jay made some kind of Ghost Dog meets David Copperfield save on Nate’s header, and kept the momentum on Cameron Road’s side headed into halftime. Unreal. The saves were so good that the Dragons simply refused to take another shot on goal during the second half.

One can only imagine the halftime speech being given over in the Dragon camp, but Cameron Road’s sideline was festive. Oranges hung from the tree, and the mood was so high that it was like Luke’s Grandmother had given each and every Honey Badger their own plate of hot biscuits. There were unconfirmed whispers of “a collapse” coming from Cameron Road from over in Dragon land. But the only collapse coming would be that of the Dragons defense as Cameron Road prepared to double and triple their lead with a blistering display of attacking football.

The second half was underway, and both teams were again battling it out for physical superiority. Again, credit to the Dragons, they were not sticking around to quit, they wanted to retain the trophy for The Khaleesi and Crew Lil’Drogon Fanboys (their official fan club based out of Singapore). And after a chippy first ten minutes, the score remained constant, like Desmond from LOST.

Things started to get interesting with the introduction of Cameron Road’s beloved Irish battering ram. With his first action in months, Dermot got into the game and earned a place in Cameron Road lore with the quickest yellow card in history. It took him approximately 30 seconds to draw the attentions of the referee after Chappy steamrolled a Dragon to the ground, and Dermot “got in the way” of the subsequent free kick. After that, Dermot was his usual pesky self, playing useful balls in the midfield, breaking up play, and almost putting down Nasty Nate for the 10 count with a vicious shoulder to rib challenge (of course, it would take a virtual army to remove Nate from such a high profile match, and he did soldier on – although a little more gingerly).

With half of the half gone, Cameron Road needed a pick-me-up to seal the Dragon’s fate. In a poetic twist of fate, it was the once and former Dragon, Sweet D, who provided the knock-out blow. Apparently, before the game, Luke and McKenna had some tactical discussions about throw ins from deep attacking positions. Luke had just such a throw in lined up deep in Dragon territory and Chappy screamed at Derek to go to the back post from the sidelines. Luke’s Baker Mayfield special went soaring towards the box where Peterson’s beautiful coif of hair redirected it to the back post for Derek to head home as he was almost unmarked. Great to see Derek get the goal against his former club, especially since his first Honey Badger action was the doomed opening game of the season where the Dragons shoplifted the trophy.

Cameron Road 4 – Dragons 0.

From there, the scent of Dragon blood was too powerful an aphrodisiac to resist as the Honey Badgers went searching for more goals and a shutout. Danimal crept forward and had two great chances from inside the box, one of which was a brilliant turn and snap-shot that went over the bar (much to the mini Danimites on the sidelines dismay).

Chappy received the ball on the left side of the pitch, and without the aide of his trusty Cruyff turn, he spotted BT roaming in the center of the box. Chappy slotted a square ball across the field to BT, and screamed “PUMP THAT SHIT” as it left his gigantic right foot. And pump it he did, as he literally tried to destroy the ball but caught just enough of it to send it whizzing by Zeke into the corner of the net for a beautiful one-time goal. There was a bear hug.

With the game out of reach for the dismayed Dragons, the Honey Badgers refused to step off the gas. Luke’s throw-in play worked so great the first time, that they decided to use it again from the exact same spot. This time it was Chappy sitting at the back post to head it home with a shrug as he faced acres of wide open goal and not a defender in sight.

Cameron Road 5 – Dragons 0.

Throughout the half, the defense was a solid wall. The Dragons were mostly trapped in their half as Andy ballhawked their ankles to death, and Dave, Billy and New Chris drove out any danger.

The coup de gras finally came as Chappy drove the field towards the Dragon box and split the defense with a through ball meant for Derek. As Derek turned, he though he might be in an offside position, so he left it for Ryan who was dashing from a deeper role onto the ball. With a flick of the right boot, Ryan rounded Big Zeke and slammed home the final nail in the coffin with a goal to celebrate his 45th birthday weekend.

Cameron Road 6 – Dragons 0.

As the final whistle blew, Jefe dashed over to the Dragon sidelines to reclaim the Clark Field Trophy. The team celebrated in what was a beautiful total team effort that had everything: Six goals. A shutout. Fantastic Saves. Crunching tackles.  A stocked sideline. It was a display of total dominance on the biggest game of the season.

And so endeth the tale of how the Honey Badgers reclaimed their trophy. Now there are bigger fish to fry as Cameron Road sits 1 point off the league lead and has their eyes fixed on another division title.

Man-of-the-Match: So many brilliant performances to choose from! Steve McKenna set the tone with the goal of the season. Danimal was essential in defending the back line. Jay made some world class saves at the end of the half to keep the Dragons at Bay. Ciro was a midfield machine. Derek had his sweet revenge with a goal against his former club. Chappy lit up the second half with a goal and two assists. But two men took their dedication to the team to new heights. Jefe and Peyton put in 27 hour shifts on Derby Weekend! That feat may never be equaled.

Post-Game-Celebration: If there was a trophy for the post game, Cameron Road would never relinquish it. NEVER. There were team photos with the trophy, individual player glamor shots with the trophy, babies, sausages, ice baths, and even champagne. But the line of the afternoon had to go to Billy as he tormented Lucky Lounge with chants of “Hey Harry Potter, where’s your stick!?”

It was a day to remember for sure.