Honey Badgers Destroy South Austin FC 4-0 To Stay Top Of The Table Heading Into Their Winter Hibernation

If you don't know his name, just read it on his chest. Chris gives a big thumbs up for his goal-scoring dog-bite-free Sunday. — *If you don’t know his name, just read it on his chest. Chris gives a big thumbs up for his goal-scoring dog-bite-free Sunday.*

Cameron Road finished off the last game of the season with a resounding win against South Austin FC to remain at the top of the table headed into the winter break.

This match featured an extra hour of sleep due to daylight savings time, and the Honey Badgers took full advantage of it by getting their full squad of 17 players to the game before the 8am kickoff. The cooler temperatures even brought Gigi back to the pitch – as he currently can only play in sub-70 degree weather as part of his Alaskan acclimation process.

Though they are at the bottom of the table, South Austin FC came out swinging and their band of bearded warriors controlled the first quarter of the match. They were getting in deep to the Cameron Road lines, but the defense was up to the task. Jefe had to make many interceptions early on as the Honey Badgers eased into their attacking game.

Chappy connected on about 50 headers, but McKenna probably had the best chance as he tried to chip the keeper off a good run.

Although the game was a tight affair, it was only a matter of time before the Honey Badgers got on the board and off to the races. Again it was McKenna with the hot touch as Ryan played him in through the middle of the box. He took on the keeper and tried to get the ball past him, but instead his pass found Gigi in close proximity and the Italian Sled Dog picked up where he left off several weeks ago with an emphatic finish.

1-0 Honey Badgers.

Not to be outdone by himself, Gigi blasted in another goal from the top of the box after Ciro got it to him. Gigi had a little time and just decided to shoot it low and hard past the keeper at the bottom right corner.

In other late first half news, Derek was up to his old cutbacking self as he mesmerized the defense with a succession of cut backs that actually made one defender topple over 15 yards away from the play. (I wonder, when Derek is at work, is it even possible for him to walk in a straight line, or does he cutback on his way to the water cooler from his desk?)

2-0 Honey Badgers at the half.

*Is that our beloved Gianluca who came back from the frozen northern tundra to score two goals, or Inspector Clouseau? You decide.*

With the game pretty much done and dusted, it was time for the last 45 minutes of the season.

New Chris made the play off the game. After running down several long balls in the offensive side, Chris tracked back like Usain Bolt and made a clutch slide tackle inside the box that would have made Big Dave smile.

If that was the play of the game, Jaybone tried to beat it as he saved a shot by pinning the rebound to the crossbar, and then scooping it up. There was some awesome defensive performances out there as the Honey Badgers looked for yet another shutout.

Jake came close to netting the third goal with a timely run into the left of the box, but it was the team’s Swiss Army Knife that got the third. Peterson played center mid, outside mid and started the second half at right back, but it was his final position of the day that earned him a great individual finish. Playing up top, Luke got the ball into Old Chris down low on the right side. Chris checked his own personal email server and #sentit to himself with a series of close-range touches around the keeper that may or may not have involved an initial shot off the post to finally stab home goal number three.

3-0 Honey Badgers.

With the game winding down, South Austin was getting a little chippy, but time after time Bret was in full pit bull attack mode on the defensive side and came away with the ball, much to South Austin FC’s frustration.

*So peaceful. So unaware. Ciro contemplates the big win and his place in the universe before being the target of his jackass of a Captain.*

To put the cherry on top of Luke’s Grandmother’s hot biscuits, McKenna came up with the game’s final goal. Peterson stepped up to #putitup as Cameron Road won a corner kick. With a head of steam from a deep position, Chappy ran some interference with a leaping challenge and the ball went to the South Austin keeper. The keeper pushed it out back into play, but Steve was there with a thumping header to put the final nail in their coffin and secure all 3 points for Cameron Road.

4-0 Honey Badgers to finish off the game.

Man-of-the-Match: On time for an 8am game, nabbed the opening assist, scored the final goal, and his Liverpool are sitting top of the EPL table for the first time in forever. It’s time we salute Steve McKenna for this week’s award.

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