Honey Badgers on a Heater – Beat Phoenix for 4th Straight Win

On a positively NEMPish day at Onion Creek, where winter made a brief return and breathed out her last, cold breath, Cameron Road United rode their hot streak for their fourth consecutive victory of the season. With the news of a full Dragon collapse on field #5, the Honey Badgers knew they could make up some ground at the top of the table with another solid performance.

The Honey Badgers welcomed back Peyton in the fold for his customary 20 minute yearly performance, cleverly disguised as the Pikey Caravan bare knuckle boxer from the movie Snatch. Luke also returned from a two game sabbatical of hot biscuit tasting (at Grandma’s no doubt), ready to crunch the numbers on and off the field in his crimson Okie jumpsuit.

Phoenix were nipping at the Honey Badger’s heals in the table like a rabbit chihuahua. They were also quite large in stature, and clad in fresh Juventus uniforms for intimidation. But Honey Badgers don’t scare easily, especially when Danimal showed up with a fresh Hi McDunnough mustache. 

With the wind at their backs, Cameron Road hoped to capitalize on the elements and nab and early lead, but the game was a tough one to sink their teeth into. The wind and the bouncy pitch made it hard to get into their usual passing groove, and instead of completing their customary 3 passes in a row, they were reduced to short hops, lil’dinkers, shankeroos, shin bombs, and oopsies. Cameron Road survived the first early scare when Willis unleashed a Musinex-laden back pass from midfield that lacked the oomph required to roll 10 yards. As the break edged towards goal, a bit of chaos ensued – complete with a few Phoenix hand balls that went unnoticed by the referee but screamed out by Jaybone. Peterson, back from a weekend bender at the lake, eventually cleared the danger into the cheap seats.

The Honey Badger’s first real chance came as Derek smacked a free kick off the crossbar. So close. But it wouldn’t be long before Cameron Road found the back of the net, and it was none other than Luke who was Johnny on the spot on a corner kick. As the ball hung up in the air headed towards the box, Jake got into position to head it home. But instead of connecting with it, he got into the way of the keeper who punched the ball back out into play where Luke was lurking. With a bit of a scuffed shot, Luke stabbed the rebound into the right corner for the opening goal.

The defense pretty much took over for the rest of the game as the offense just couldn’t complete the final pass in the final third for most of the afternoon. Andy did have a crack at goal near the end of the half, but it went slightly over the bar. Slightly.

Halftime = oranges and no speeches. Just the way we like it.

Clinging onto a slim one-goal lead, the Honey Badgers rode some more good luck early in the second half as Phoenix got a lucky old-school Clark Field bounce past Billy, which ended up with a strong shot sizzling just wide of the post. A close call, but it only sparked the defense into action for the rest of the game, where Danimal and Luke lead the way. Another bit of good luck ensued as an errand ball flew into the stands and narrowly missed smacking the lil’ Michaelis girls. Whew. Close call, but them kids are tough like their Daddy.

The defense also took center stage on a game-changing play in the second half. For New Chris, there is no ball that can’t be won, no attacker that can’t be chased down, and no play that will be given up on. Such was the case when he went scrambling down the touchline to ward off a Phoenix attack. His shoulder to shoulder charge with the raccoon-faced forward seemed fairly innocuous, but as they crossed over the sideline, his opponent wound up and took a swing at Chris. Later sucka! The league has no tolerance for that kind of shit, and Phoenix were reduced to 10 men. (incidentally, that was their 3rd red card in 3 weeks).

Although Phoenix were playing the rest of the half a man down, you couldn’t really tell, because they were still playing with a fierce intensity trying to get back into the game. But as a hawk appeared high above the field, which was a clear sign that it would be Cameron Road’s day. At the other end, the Honey Badgers searched for another goal. Billy and Jefe got forward for a spell and BT danced through the heart of the defense like a gazelle making his way through the Whataburger drive through.

But at the end of the day, Luke’s first half effort stood tall and the Honey Badgers rode out end of the game to victory.

Man-of-the-Match: With the winning goal and solid defense performance, Luke again proved why he’s such a key cog in the heart of the Honey Badger machine.