Game Reports

It’s Just Business. Honey Badgers Beat Punters 1-0.

Sorry Punters, nothing personal, it was just business. Cameron Road reclaimed the trophy and exercised last fall’s demons as they took a 2-1 game lead in the Crown & Anchor Derby yesterday. It was a glorious, glorious, glorious victory against their Clark Field brethren. Some may say that the game was won before the first…

Badgers Build A Wall Of Stone Around Jaybone To Earn A Well-Deserved 0-0 Draw With Phoenix

Coming into yesterday’s match, Phoenix had won all four of their games and scored 17 goals. The Honey Badgers faced a daunting task with only 11 players available and the temperature soaring to near triple digits. Jefe was tense. Too tense. His call for reinforcements fell on def ears as the Honey Badgers would have to make…

Tentless, Goalless, Bloodied, Battered and Bruised – Honey Badgers Grind Out 1-1 Draw with Livers

Weeks from now, getting out of NEMP alive against one of the top teams in the league with a draw will be viewed as a great result – but for now, it stings just a bit knowing the “Livers” were on the ropes. Like a total solar eclipse, another rare occurrence happened yesterday on the high…

Honey Badgers Rebound with 3-1 Win Over Cosmos

There was more trouble in the Cosmos on Sunday as the footballing version suffered the same fate as the late Cassini satellite – only this one burned up in the fiery clutches of the Honey Badger defense instead of Saturn’s atmosphere. Another day, another lineup change. This week, the Honey Badgers were missing most of last…

BREAKING NEWS: SPECIAL COUNSEL EXPANDS INVESTIGATION TO SEARCH FOR MISSING HONEY BADGER GOALS

CNN has learned that Special Counsel Bob Mueller has expanded the scope of his investigation to include the whereabouts of the Honey Badger goals. As of late, the goals have been missing in action, which has partially led to the most recent defeat at the hands of Austin Athletic Club. Despite a first half dominance inside…

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Honey Badgers Brilliant Second Half Display Would Have Turned the Tide Against Deportivo…….

….. if they had not already scored 5 first half goals. Cameron Road battled the blazing heat, tireless teenagers, starting and finishing with 10 men, no subs, and a single tent yesterday in the loss to Deportivo. Sure, sure, the first half was kind of a blur, but just think what would have happened if…

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Guardians of the Galacticos – Honey Badgers Thrill Crowds With Blazing Hot Goals

2:00 on a July afternoon. That’s why you sign up for Summer Soccer. There’s no hiding from the heat, and if you can make it through the game without having a heat stroke, the post-game beers are that much more delicious (unless Andy hands you some sort of crushed up sweet tart /zima mash up…

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When Jaybone and Chris G Are Playing Striker, Things Are Looking Good – Honey Badgers Roll Phoenix 6-0

Not sure I understand when the other teams says “It’s only summer man!!!” That must be code for “stop kicking our ass!” The final score was 6-0, but the Honey Badgers were out for Cobra blood and it could have been 16. After last week’s hard-fought game against Waterloo, Cameron Road pulled out the can…

“We Weren’t Terrible” – CRU 1 – Club America 1

Ahh the Summer Season. The wonderful time of year when it’s 100 degrees in the shade, you’re chasing 20 year old kids around the pitch (or watching them run by you), your opponent doesn’t want to play physical because it’s “only summer,” and the results are a mixed bag. Cameron Road faced all those obstacles yesterday…

Badgers Sink South Austin To Close Out The Season With A 3-1 Victory

A storm was brewing yesterday. With a lightening strike of goals and a thunderous defense performance, Cameron Road United closed out their 2016-2017 season with a workmanlike victory against South Austin FC. The Punters tied ATX earlier in the day, so the Honey Badgers knew a win was a must to reign supreme as Clark…

Débâcle De Mayo

The Honey Badgers went down in flames during the second half of yesterday’s 4-0 loss to the Gunners. 8am at NEMP is never anyone’s ideal scenario for soccer, and the teams were treated to about 20 tiny flags embedded in the field to server as some sort of dribbling obstacle course. With those removed (because let’s…

Let There Be River Beer! Honey Badgers Return To Winning Ways With 2-0 Win Over Club America.

Somewhere out there in the soccer ether, Chappy is offside, Andy is wearing the wrong clothes, Peterson is arriving late, the Club America goal keeper is eating a LuAnn fish platter at Luby’s and rubbing water on his chest, Big Dave still doesn’t have a Hops & Grain hat and the Honey Badgers are celebrating their 2-0 victory…

Badgers Give Ryan and Jake Birthday Win As They Beat CC United 2-0

The Honey Badgers put #Puntergate behind them and cruised to a well-deserved two goal victory against CC United. Finally, Cameron Road put together a solid performance against a team above them in the table. On the day after Jake turned 40 and Ryan turned 40 something, the Honey Badgers again came out with good numbers…

“At Least We Have Shade” – Ciro

In case you were wondering….. Gravitational waves are ‘ripples’ in the fabric of space-time caused by some of the most violent and energetic processes in the Universe. Albert Einstein predicted the existence of gravitational waves in 1916 in his general theory of relativity. Einstein’s mathematics showed that massive accelerating objects (such as neutron stars or…

Badgers Batter Cosmos 3-1 In Preparation For Next Week’s Clark Field El Classico (Alternative Chris Peterson Supplied Title: Hope Floats 2: The Blood Letting)

On Sunday, with the “Avenge Carlos” battle cry ringing out in the Badger’s ears, Cosmos never stood a chance. Nineteen Honey Badgers assembled to kick off this season for real, and within 3 minutes of the starting whistle, the score was 2-0 Cameron Road.

Cameron Road’s Press Secretary Discusses Alternative Facts About Today’s Loss to Verity

POST MATCH NEWS BRIEFING – Transcript by AMSA FEBRUARY 19th, 2017 SPEAKER: CAMERON ROAD UNITED PRESS SECRETARY [*] SPEAKER: Good afternoon, everyone. Thanks for coming out. I would like to start by saying that you just witnessed one of the greatest games you’ve even seen. I’m talking better than when our boys beat our good friends the Russians…

Honey Badgers Destroy South Austin FC 4-0 To Stay Top Of The Table Heading Into Their Winter Hibernation

Cameron Road finished off the last game of the season with a resounding win against South Austin FC to remain at the top of the table headed into the winter break. This match featured an extra hour of sleep due to daylight savings time, and the Honey Badgers took full advantage of it by getting their…

Goals Swalled Up By Halloween Mist As Honey Badgers Play Verity To An Unsatisfying 0-0 Draw

The Mist descended upon Manor like something out of a Stephen King novel. It was the morning before Halloween, and all the tree line gremlins and shadow cats prowled the pitch in search of a bloody feast. They must have gotten to Verity early and snatched one of their players up, because they only had…

You’ve Got Mail – Peterson’s Personal Email Server Back Online As His Message To Chappy Is Received In Front of Goal. Honey Badgers Back On Top As They Beat Beercelona 1-0.

After two successive 1-goal defeats, the Honey Badgers were in desperate need of some of Luke’s Grandmother’s biscuits. (#metaphor) Facing Beercelona though, is no easy task. They were sitting pretty at the top of the Over 30A table and were coming off a summer thrashing of Cameron Road where they dropped 6 goals on the…

Victory Not Written in the Stars as Cameron Road Narrowly Defeated by the Cosmos 2-1

As Carl Sagan would have said it, “the Honey Badgers had billions and billions of chances,” but just couldn’t put the ball into the back of the net to avenge Carlos’ injury. (Google it, it’s a pretty clever reference) With plenty of subs, a sideline bursting with fandom, a drunken Verity crew handing out #service…

Gunned Down: Honey Badgers Destroy Gunners 6-0 One Week After Crushing The Punter’s Spirits And Remain In First Place

If ever there was a time for a letdown, it was Sunday. A week removed from beating their biggest rivals (sorry Dragons), the Honey Badgers could have taken their foot off the gas and taken a leisurely drive out to Manor for a little game of grab ass. Instead, they chose to install a 4:11 Positrac…