It Was Like Kissing Your Uglier Sister: CRU 2 – Verity 2

Many wondered if the Honey Badgers would have anything left to play for after vanquishing the Punters last week. After besting their biggest rivals (sorry Dragons), would there even be a reason to get out of bed on Sundays? Well, another trip down memory lane beckoned as Verity was next up on the schedule. Cameron Road and Verity go way back like Chappy’s hairline, so both teams were pretty pumped up at the prospects of duking it out on the pitch and then gorging out on hibachi-style sausages.

Cameron Road got quite a surprise before the game as a pair of very familiar skinny legs strolled up to the pitch. GIGI!!! The long-lost Alaskan traveler had returned apparently married with a mini dentist in the oven, and ready to play. After a few frantic iPhone moments to get him signed up on the actual roster, the Honey Badgers were given the green light to dump him straight into the fray.

CRU/Verity games are usually pretty physical, nasty and down and dirty – just the way both teams like it. Good ol’Charlie Red Card was taking a bit of an early beating as the Honey Badgers’s defense stiffened up against the imposing Verity attack. Verity was first to send a message when their excellent #9 ripped a shot off the crossbar. They were also first to take the lead as Joe took advantage of some corner kick marking mixups to power home a header. Don’t let him fool ya, Joe also possesses a Bald Dome of Power, but it’s blanketed with a nice carpet of middle-aged hair. From then on, Chappy took a personal interest in marking him on set pieces.

Cameron Road came close a few times in the first half. Derek was being a real nuisance up front, harassing the bigger Verity defenders like a chihuahua going after an elephant, and Peterson slang in a hummer that came close.

But the hot and humid half ended with Verity still protecting their slim 1-0 lead.

The second half heated up with the Honey Badgers looking to get back into the game. Willis had a sweet 50 yard pass and move scamper to set the tone as the Danimalless defense kept up their excellent record of not allowing a goal from open play.

The Honey Badgers got back on track as Peterson #sentit to to Derek to finish from close range and tie up the game at 1-1.

And wouldn’t you know it, good ol’Gigi instantly picked up where he left off so many months ago by winning a penalty and calmly converting it to put the Honey Badgers in the lead at 2-1.

The final 20 minutes were full of bumps, bruises, challenges and bodies being thrown with reckless abandon. After getting rouged up by the Badger D, Verity was awarded a penalty of their own which was promptly dispatched in sizzling fashion by their number 9. Seriously, it was a good thing Jaybone didn’t get a touch on it or he might have wound up like Jamie Lannister next game sporting a golden hand.

With the game all square at 2-2, both teams were desperate for the winner. Nobody was looking to sit back and savor the draw. Chappy and New Brian linked up twice to try and break the deadlock. First Chappy dug out a cross for Brian in the middle with park for a shot. And later, with only minutes to go Brian laid one off on the edge of the box for Chappy to (surprisingly) rip off a shot to the far post on the half volley which the keeper pushed just wide. Like in his personal life, another 6″ would have made all the difference.

The game ended with more battering ram style play in the Verity box as Cameron Road pushed for the winner, but Adam’s header attempt fizzled – most likely because of his recent fro removal before the game.

2-2 wasn’t a bad result, but it was a bit frustrating at the end with a few chances to claim all three points. Oh well, Gigi was back, Ciro got iced (literally since there was no water involved), Jefe wondered if clouds had feelings, Derik gave the linesman some cookies, Willis and Peterson proposed that the Eagle Claw has to buy his 27/39 jeans at a children’s big-n-tall store and then take them to a pet store to merge the two, and the sun was shining on some old friends at Onion Creek.

Man-of-the-Match: I am Gigi. I come to play soccer. I score goal.