Honey Badgers Lose Opener 3-2 to Club America

No Red Mist Here! Honey Badgers leave it all on the field.
No Red Mist Here! Honey Badgers leave it all on the field.

As another opening day descended upon Onion Creek, the Honey Badgers assembled underneath the plush confines of Badgertown to kick off the season with a match against Club America.

The Badgers were a little light as several players were out, but they welcomed “New Brian” to the field of dreams as he made his Petersonless debut. Brian slotted into center midfield with BT to form a nice early-game tandem. BT-BS, Brian Squared, The Brians…. whatever you want to call them, they linked up nicely in the middle of the park to give Cameron Road some good early-game touches.

The Honey Badgers were playing well, and got the opening goal they deserved as Billy strode forth in midfield and linked up with Chappy on the edge of the box. Chappy turned and slide the ball into Derek’s path and he was able to finish from close range to put the Honey Badgers up 1-0 inside the first 15 minutes.

Cameron Road would double their lead as Derek again scored from close range after McKenna fed him this time. He got the rebound from his initial shot and sent a dagger into the side netting. 2-0 Honey Badgers.

Not used to holding onto such an early lead, Cameron Road was put under the gun a little bit as Club America earned themselves a penalty kick, which was dispatched to get them back into the game. 2-1 Honey Badgers.

Brian was playing well, but his day came to an early end as he was upended at the corner flag and got a bit of a rude introduction to Onion Creek via a knee to his hip. He probably would have walked away uninjured if he were wearing protective red socks – he’ll learn.

Two guys with the same name, playing the same position, with numbers ending in 5s, both sporting lower body injuries (we're just assuming BT's calf is close to exploding)
Two guys with the same name, playing the same position, with numbers ending in 5s, both sporting lower body injuries (we’re just assuming BT’s calf is close to exploding)

It was eventful halftime as a “device” was found in the port-o-potty which left the team speechless. One can only assume that Ryan circled back after leaving the game to retrieve his misplaced property.

As is their custom from time to time, the Honey Badgers slowly unraveled trying to hold onto their lead. First, Club America scored what appeared to be an offside goal to tie the game. Later in the half they connected on a third to take the lead.

In between those, Ciro appeared out of thin air, and after getting nutmegged with his first on-field action, he settled into the game and won Cameron Road a penalty.

Going for his hat trick, Derek launched the first  “to da moon!” ball of the season, but continued to work extremely hard to get the tying goal. Near the end of the half, his shot from outside the box was clawed away by the Club America keeper with a diving glove save at the far post.

To really spice things up, Billy got himself a pair of yellow cards as the red mist descended (what is the Scottish word for pineapple?), and was sent to the sidelines where he was forced to write “I will not curse on the field when there are children present” 500 times.

The Honey Badgers tried valiantly to mount their usual comeback, but the Soccer Gods had other plans as shots, free kicks and corner kicks all missed their marks.

Not the start to the season Cameron Road was looking for, but with a few tweaks here and there and a bit more luck they should be able to even up the their record next week against Cosmos.

Man-of-the-Match: Derek kicked off the season in striker style scoring two first half goals, being a general pain in the ass to play against, and just missing his Honey Badger hat trick.

Post-Game Report: While Cameron Road failed to close out the game on the field, they were in prime mid-season form during the post game. Jefé gave Andy a lesson in ice chest etiquette when he handed out all of Chappy’s beer. New Brian received his ceremonial ice bath. Derek received a “slow pour” ice bath. And everyone enjoyed the baking skills of Adam’s Mother’s brownies. Seriously…. oranges, brownies….. remind me to invite a Greenspan to my next dinner party.

 

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