Author: Chappy
357 Days and The Wait is Over. Honey Badgers Beat Dragons 2-1!
5:55 am – Jefe text Chappy to tell him that it’s raining Dragon Tears. 5:58 am – Ryan takes first shit of morning. 6:48 am – Jefe arrives at fields. 7:06 am – Ryan takes second shit of morning 7:10 am – Chappy captures rainbow on drive showing exact location of Zeke’s Honey Pot like…
Honey Badgers 0 – Austin Goldstars 3
The Honey Badgers woke up thinking, “could this be the day?” After Luke’s late-week motivational email, the champagne was re-re-re-re-iced and tucked away in the Yeti along with various post-game selections for the possible taste of victory. Messi was there minus fingerless gloves and mime makeup, Houston was there minus a dog, Jake was there…
Honey Badgers Snatch Defeat From the Jaws of Victory in Heartbreaking 4-3 Loss to Wolverines
Son of a…. Up 3-2 with 10 minutes to play sounded like it was gonna be time to pop the top on that bottle of champagne and breathe a collective sigh of relief, but since this is the year of the dead honey badger, things didn’t turn out the way Cameron Road had planned it….
Greg, AJ, Two Teenagers and a Ragtag Band of Misfits Beat Cameron Road Like a Drum on Derby Day
Yeah but who’s keeping score, right? Too many good things surrounded this matchup of Clark Field brethren to focus on the outcome. Jefe and Chappy assembled Badger Town early at 8am. The strategy was twofold. One, to secure “The Tree” and establish a beachhead for afternoon operations. Two, to check out the Clark Field Red…
Slump Buster: Honey Badgers Earn First Point in Over a Year with 2-2 Draw Against Austin Athletic
Courtesy of Adam Greenspan As penance for the many new and creative ways I came up with to not put the ball in the net today, my arms and I will be your guides through this match report. The gods of soccer weather were in a mood for dickery, raining just enough that you could…
The Man, The Myth, The Legend: Stripy!
Luckily for us, a few weeks back Zoran took a break from working in the steel mill back in Cleveland and turned up at the Crown and Anchor for a few beers with the fellas. One a Honey Badger, always a Honey Badger.
The Brians: Contract Negotiations
Trouble on the set! As BT pushes for a new contract with guaranteed Academy and Whataburger product placement, a possible replacement was busy with his screen test.
8 Players, 2 Own Goals, The Way Shong Jersey Returns, Free Tacos…#SummerLeague
The breeze was glorious. The temperature was fruitful. The sun was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, most of the Cameron Road United squad was also nowhere to be found as only 8 lonely Honey Badgers were available for the first round of summer ball. No worries, at least everyone had plenty of time on the…
Honey Badgers Do Themself Proud in 0-3 Loss to Thunder
It. Is. Over. Well, at least the heavy lifting is over. Yesterday’s match against a pesky, 2nd place Austin Thunder was the final “top dawg” opponent that the Honey Badgers had to face in this damned year of character building. The only thing that remains is a “Stay Cool See Ya Next Summer” last day…
The Brians, Episode 13: The Pleasure and the Pain
Sandwiched in between that crazy new neighbor, “the dentist”, one Brian ponders the limits of his new physique, while the other Brian just wants to puke up his pre-game Whataburger!
Cinco de Stinko
Unlike the lazy writers over at Game of Thrones, the Honey Badgers refuse to give up and throw their hands up at the end of the season. Sure, it’s easy to just pretend a moving dragon can be shot out of the sky by a bunch of wooden ships with harpoon guns facing directly forward without ever seeing…
Honey Badgers Show Grit by Only Giving up 3 Goals in 0-3 Loss to Levelfield
Only three games remain in “The Year of the Dead” (why does he keep saying that?) thankfully, and this week it’s Levelfield who are now in the Honey Badgers rear view mirror, never to be seen again except from the sidelines with a cold beer in hand. Stunningly, this was one of Cameron Road’s better…
Honey Badgers Dominate Opening 20 Minutes in 7 Goal Loss to ATX United
Yeah yeah yeah, the final score was another epic beatdown against a strong Premier team with quality players, skill, athleticism, touch, passing ability, women’s headbands, and points on the table. Booooooooring! But in the opening minutes of match, the Honey Badgers themselves looked like a squad that could dominate on the pitch as well as on…
The Mueller Report Is In – Referee and Linesman Show Signs of Collusion as Honey Badgers Play Best Game of Season Against Waterloo
After shipping in 16 goals the past two games, the Honey Badgers tightened things up and didn’t give up a single goal in open play to Waterloo in a fiercely contested 2-1 los yesterday afternoon. It was their best showing against a Premier team all season, and if it weren’t for a once in a…
Cameron Road Continue To Build Character and Learn Valuable Life Lessons in Loss to Mean-Eyed Guinness Drinking Cats
On a blustery day where winter clung to Onion Creek like Ciro clutching his USB portable heater on an 85 degree afternoon, the Honey Badgers gathered to do battle after last week’s blood letting. With a flurry of late night text exchanges, Jay employed his 5 man defensive shield in front of him to start…
And The Oscar Goes To….
Best Impersonation of an Over 30 Premier Team: Cameron Road Untied. Best Header of a Ball Without Knowing You are Heading a Ball: BT, after Jaybone nailed him in the back of the head. Best Comeback Line: Ryan Willis for his timely comment to last week’s referee after the umpteenth Wickham goal went in. “What…
Honey Badgers Maintain Table Integrity with Strategic 2-1 Loss to Phoenix
Just when you least expect it, the Match Report is back! Like a fart under the covers on Valentine’s Day. For those not fortunate enough to have spent the last three months at Clark Field every Sunday, today marked the first soccer action of the new year. There was a little rust to knock off,…
Honey Badgers Trim Weekly Goal Differential From 8 to 3 In Courageous, Heart-Stopping Thrilla!
This week’s installment brought to you by: BT’s neck beard, Peterson’s tuna sandwiches, Ciro’s new “high-vis” match ball, New Brian’s elegant yacht-wear, Jaybone’s face save, New Jeff’s sore back, Derek’s “loneliest man past the halfway line” lifestyle, Chris G’s biceps and abs, Adam’s oranges, Jefe’s Chelsea hat, Bret’s new boots, Danimal’s reverse pineapple voice of…
Levelfield: A Brilliant First Half, Helicopters & Bugs
3 Apaches and 2 Chinooks dropped an impressive amount of ordnance over the tree line yesterday to combat the worm and fly infestation. #Bugpocalypse