Honey Badgers Maintain Table Integrity with Strategic 2-1 Loss to Phoenix
Just when you least expect it, the Match Report is back! Like a fart under the covers on Valentine’s Day. For those not fortunate enough to have spent the last three months at Clark Field every Sunday, today marked the first soccer action of the new year. There was a little rust to knock off, but Phoenix provided the perfect opponent to shake off the cobwebs and not be on the receiving end of a typical Over 30 Premier ass whooping’.
A solid turnout of Honey Badgers showed up for the first winnable game of the campaign, and Cameron Road was solid on the ball in the opening moments pressing forward in attack.
The Honey Badgers were attacking Phoenix down the right flank, with Jake surging forward trying to get balls to the Derek and McKenna inside the 18 yard box.
The momentum was with the Badgers, but as so often happens, Phoenix popped up with a counter attack and stung Cameron Road with an early goal.
No worries, the Honey Badgers usually play better when coming from behind.
About midway through the half, many things conspired at once to turn the game on its head. The referee and Danny had a slight disagreement about the pros and cons of player/ref communication, Chappy drank a sip of his Rockstar and spit out a live bee, and a long-lost familiar face arose from over the hilltop. Behold it was “I, Gigi!” – hater of Dentists, lover of Columbian tea, and wearer of non-standard tiny black shorts most likely pilfered from his wife’s underwear drawer. So good to have the Italian Stallion back on the sidelines and on the pitch, even though he looks to have gained a considerable amount of weight to put him at the 82 pound mark.
After a lengthy delay where the referee threatened to call the game and down to 10 men, the Honey Badgers scrambled to switch gears and realign their tactical plan. To complicate matters further, Ciro was on the business end of a nasty tackle which rendered his tiny ankle kaput for the rest of the match. The Brian’s, Peterson and Willis would have to soak up the pressure in central midfield without their sensai.
With a hole in the back line to fill, New Jeff stepped in and made several timely tackles to shut down some Phoenix attacks, mangling his ankle in the process, but soldiered on like he always does.
To complete the miserable half, Phoenix grabbed a second goal from a high flying corner kick.
At least the first oranges of the new year were on point.
The Honey Badgers regrouped, and with the mighty wind at their backs, they began to mount their comeback. For the first 15 minutes, Cameron Road battered Phoenix, looking for cracks in the defense. Ryan made several surging runs, New Brian and Peterson were playing one touch stuff, Gigi danced inside the box and won a free kick that Peterson came close on, and Big Dave felt like his old self as he sent a shot skyward.
At the other end, Phoenix was relying on the counter attack, and more times than not, El Jefe was pushing them back with some timely defending.
About midway through the half, the Honey Badgers got themselves back into the match with lovely bit of footy. New Brian and Peterson worked the ball to Bill down the right flank. With Chappy trailing the play, Billy dropped the ball off to the bald numpty who set aside his upcoming Man United / Liverpool beef and square the ball to McKenna inside the 18 yard box. Steve let the ball roll by him and slammed home a nice left footed shot into the top corner to pull the Honey Badgers back into the game.
To keep the comeback alive, Jaybone made a nice save coming out of goal as the Honey Badgers had to keep pushing forward.
But in the end, even with the run of play in the second half, Cameron Road couldn’t find that all-important second goal.
Oh well, jokes on Phoenix as the earned themself those poison points in the division.
The post game was a thing of beauty and quickly erased the difficulties of the day on the pitch. There was a giant, starless moon on one side of the sky, and a brilliant molten glow on the other side. With not a raindrop in sight, the Soccer Gods had decreed that it was indeed a good day to get back on the pitch. With the temperatures dropping and Chappy’s thin attempt at a hoodie failing, he had to turn to alternate attempts at maintaining high core temperatures… namely a running trash can jump and standing trash can parcor maneuver which earned him a Ryan Willis ice bath as he lay on the ground. A 50 degree dusk ice bath…. savage. Ciro approved.
Man-of-the-Match: Two years gone, but it was like he never left, we salute our beloved Gigi as he made his surprise (and hopefully permanent) return to the sidelines where he belongs.
