Honey Badgers Dominate Opening 20 Minutes in 7 Goal Loss to ATX United

Yeah yeah yeah, the final score was another epic beatdown against a strong Premier team with quality players, skill, athleticism, touch, passing ability, women’s headbands, and points on the table. Booooooooring!

But in the opening minutes of match, the Honey Badgers themselves looked like a squad that could dominate on the pitch as well as on the sidelines. The passing was crisp. The defending was incisive. Big Dave’s back heel didn’t go to an ATX player (to be honest, it didn’t go to a Honey Badger either). There was a Bald Dome of Power blast sent wide of the goal off Billy’s free kick. Derek had a one-on-one with the keeper in front of goal. Another chance went begging. There was a fourth attempt at goal! Jake wasn’t on the ground yet!! Peterson’s hair had not moved an inch!!! THERE WAS A BICYCLE KICK FROM OUTSIDE THE 18 YARD BOX!!!!! It was glorious!!

And then ATX went on to score a shitload of goals, cried about some fouls, won the game convincingly,  and presumably went home immediately without drinking a beer or jumping anything.

Meanwhile, the Sideline Champs were busy roasting the Punters, taking care of two little eaglets who had fled their sleeping bag nest, soaking up pop-top beers, eating all Jake’s leftover snacks, and celebrating the though of only 4 more games in this dreadful league. All in all, it was a good day.

Worst Comeback of ALL TIME: After receiving a healthy dose of sideline passion from the Badger Den, a Mean-Eyed-Guinness player yelled back, “have fun in Over 30A!”  – whoah there fella, you really told us, didn’t you! The entire sideline burst into laughter….. Over 30A can’t get here soon enough you big dentist.