Rasta Len Says CRU is #1
While in Costa Rica searching for new black market ankle ligaments, Derek found our #1 Central American fan.
Misc
An Ode to NEMP by Adam
Can a ball sent skyward justly be said to be traveling to da moon as it departs NEMP’s lunar surface? Are not all balls sent bounding through its dusty craters in truth sent a la luna? Lo, we are but insignificant moon men, scuttling about, kicking at the ankles of a universe so expansive one…
Offseason Report: Lil’D Becomes Honorary Punter
The jersey fit like a glove.
Badgers Win Final Post Game of the Season
Lofty FC fought well, but they were no match for the staying power of the Honey Badgers on the last day of the season. A victory after a victory! There were Sour Patch kids (a far superior candy to anything made by the Jolly Rancher clan), kolaches, icings of Ciro (of course), golf balls hit,…
Chappy Plucks Golf Ball Out Of Thin Air
In perhaps his best performance of the season, Chappy put his money where his mouth was and grabbed Danny’s 50 yard wedge shot out of the air on the first try. Might be a third act as a circus performer in his future.
If You Won Something Today, Shotgun Away!
We got an MVP winner, a Spiritual Leader, a Normal Human, and the Golden Boot winner all celebrating together.
Danny Wins Golden Pineapple!
After narrowly missing out on the final game of last year, Danimal joined the “normal humans” after receiving his Golden Pineapple for a red card-less season! He also probably set the record for defensive goals in a season finishing on a hot-streak of 4 in a row.
The Boys Are Back In Town
Notes from Wednesday Night Practice: After beating down the Punters at practice, Billy Spearheaded the charge to get back and retake the Crown and Anchor. Several key findings followed: The demise of Billy’s social skills have been greatly exaggerated as he was in fine form on and off the pitch. Greg, owner of the Crown…
There Were Two Badgers Who Lived In A Shoe
Since there were no takers on Guillermo’s slightly used size 10 cleats, we decided to turn them into bunk beds for Derek and Ciro so that they may always get a good night’s sleep before games.
All Hail Gianluca and His 6 Goal Game!!!
Yeah, it’s on the website, so you know it happened. Wow. Gigi is not so quietly obliterating all CRU scoring records this season. He’s already got 17 with 9 games left to play. Today, he netted 6 goals and 3 assists.
Wednesday Night’s Are Back!!
Skinny Luke is back for a glorious Zilker Park run out!
Don’t Mess With Nasty Nate!
After a spirited Sunday morning Clark Field Sesh, Derek found out first hand what happens when Nasty Nate comes in for a challenge. Your shoe just turns to dust.
Can Anyone Catch Adam!?
In a burst of Carl Lewis-like speed, Adam blew by the field in this week’s installment of post-match drunken races. He even had enough energy for a victory lap while his opponents lay face down in the grass. Perhaps next week’s race will involve the entire Honey Badgers and Dragons squads.
Tent Jump, Take Two
Finally, a successful “tent jump.” Luckily, the first one was not caught on tape since it ended in disgrace, much like last year’s.