WIN: 1-0 vs Santos – Badgers Bring Back-to-Back Wins to Onion Creek For The First Time All Season!

The Austin weather gremlin was busy at it late last week going from hail on Friday, to NEMP-like winds on Saturday, to summer-like heat on game day – which made for a tough outing at Onion Creek for the 2:00 start. Luckily the Honey Badgers came prepared with two tents, several Badger Cubs, plenty of beer, and sunscreen for all the bald heads and Ciro’s midriff (which was covered in SPF 50 even though he was wearing a jersey… gotta watch out for those pesky penetrating UV rays!)

To combat the heat, the Honey Badgers had three subs available to start the match, with Guillermo adding a fourth right before the half.

Cameron Road was facing a tough opponent who was right ahead of them in the table, but after Chopped Liverpool’s 1-0 win, the Badgers were free to go nuts, knowing there could finish no higher than a strategically sound third place for the season.

Early on, the game was back and forth as Chappy started up front in place of the injured Italian marksman. Danny played in a deep ball, but forgot that Gianluca’s speed was unavailable, as he barked at Chappy to drag his low-t bunion-ass down the line to chase it.

Peterson and Schwarzy started in the center of the park as they tried to get things going in the passing department.

Most of the game was being fought in the midfield areas, with both teams having a hard time carving out scoring chances.

At the back, Jaybone was in relative safety for most of the afternoon with his defenders swaddling him from Wolverines like a newborn baby. Jeff Z had some nice slide tackles, Big Dave did the same, Billy and Jefe stood tall, and Danny’s head was busy booming clearances (when he wasn’t disagreeing with the referee).

After one yellow card worthy disagreement with said referee, Danny surged forward and connected with a bouncing ball about as good as anyone can hope to as he lashed home a vicious shot into the back of the net for the opening goal, bringing about a babbling nonsensical pro-bowler-like celebration of “Who do you think you are? I AM!” I still don’t know what that means, but I like it.

Jesus got into the game as an attacker and almost had a pop at close range. Parks and Adam were doing their things on the wings, and Ciro got busy trying to control the game one tiny footstep at a time.

Oranges. Sweet, delicious, mouth watering oranges.

The second half was more of the same. Chappy got involved in the slide-tackle game…. perhaps slightly from behind, provoking the classic Onion Creek lame comeback of “hey, we all have to go to work in the morning!” Which was greeted with a few classy F-Bombs. Pineapple?

The times Santos actually troubled the Badgers were few and far between, but Big Dave showed up like a boss to make the play of the game as a curling corner kick was headed into the top corner of Jaybone’s goal. Dave power headed it away to safety, harnessing the power of his tree that was only 30 yards to his back. That’s his second goal-saving clearance off the line this season!

The Badgers came close to scoring a second as Derek smacked one off the crossbar. There was some late crossbar action at the other end as well, but a shot that came off the post and crossbar nestled calmly into Jay’s mitts.

With Santos running out of time, Danny almost doubled the lead with a thundering header from a Peterson corner kick which would have no doubt saw him attempt to come up with another bowling inspired celebration.

But finally, the referee blew the whistle to end the game. Well done by the defense to keep a clean sheet and preserve the big win. For the first time all season, the Badgers won back-to-back games, and have a great chance to end the 2022-2023 campaign with a 3 game winning streak with one more to play.

Man-of-the-Match: Big Dave came up Big with another classic game-saving clearance off the line! Shout out to Danny for his fantastic goal, but the post-game sideline committee deemed his MOTM efforts slightly tainted by his yellow card and improper tent securing tactics.

Post-Match-Report: Hottest day of the year by far and yet nobody was iced. Strange. Play of the post-game was Ciro’s attempt to hit a small ball with a golf club, tearing out a dollar bill sized divot in the precious Onion Creek turf while leaving the ball safe and sound in its initial resting place. Also, a “civilian” passed out near the port-o-potty.