Badgers Defeat Wolverines and Remain World’s Most Feared Animal
Badgers win! Badgers win!
It was a battle for animal kingdom supremacy on Sunday, and there was going to be only one winner who just didn’t give a shit. The Honey Badgers defeated the snarling Wolverines 2-0 and finally got their first summer win of the season. Whew.
In stark contrast to last week, the fields were blessed with a competent referee (Mean Gene!), and a pretty decent group of guys for an opponent (mostly).
The Honey Badgers got off to a flying start, scoring within the first minute. With Billy slotting in for the missing Ciro in center midfield, Cameron Road started the game off passing it around the park. Gigi got the ball at the top of the box and carefully listened to the shouts to his left as he slid it over to Chappy. With one left footed touch to clear the defender, Chappy was in one-on-one with the keeper who decided to charge out of goal. With a flick of the boot, Chappy sent the ball into far corner, but also ended up going full Andy Michaelis with the keeper’s face. With no foul called and the goal standing, the keeper was in obvious distress and had to be helped off the field eventually. An unfortunate, but fair, 50-50 situation went to the Honey Badgers.
With a replacement keeper in the game, Cameron Road went looking for more goals, but it was the Wolverines who turned it up a notch and battered the Cameron Road defense. The main threat was a true Wolverine, #5, who was all of 20 years old but was on a mission to get them back into the game. Eventually, Joe, Jefe and the rest of the defense soaked up the pressure, but early on he was a constant thorn in Cameron Road’s side.
The Honey Badgers doubled their lead with a fantastic training ground play. Peterson’s short corner went to Adam who slid it across to Gigi. Gigi hit the perfect low, hard shot to beat the Wolverine’s 3rd keeper at the near post to end the half.
Badgers 2 – Wolverines 0.
The majority of the Wolverines were good dudes, but their captain did them no favors turning away Chappy and the referee at half time as they went to check on and apologize to the fallen keeper.
For the first 10 minutes of the second half, the Honey Badgers rode some sweet tree line luck as they Wolverines were coming for blood. First, after a soft p/k was given, Jaybone made a fantastic diving save to turn back the penalty kick. Then, as #5 latched onto a ball at the top of the box, his rocket shot smacked off the crossbar.
After that, Cameron Road turned up the pressure, played some great passes, and closed up shop defensively.
Ryan, Derek, Peterson and Adam all had great chances to score, while Joe, Jefe, Chris, and Bret defended the Badger Den as if there was a smoldering hot plate of Luke’s Grandmother’s biscuits buried deep inside.
And let’s not forget Dave’s beautiful “pop-up” slide tackle on the left side. That shit was textbook perfect.
Nice to finally get the break through win. With just two more summer games to go, it’s the perfect time for the Honey Badgers to start putting together a run.
Special thanks to Cameron Road’s Medical Mother Theresa, Caroline. Not only did she go over to the Wolverine’s tent to try and assist their fallen keeper after his injury, but she also ferried Jake to the hospital after he ran into a bit of heat-related trouble (he’s okay thankfully). Maybe Honey Badgers do give a shit after all?
