WIN: 5-3 vs Travis FC: Honey Badgers Beat Rivals In Battle Of The Under Age Stars!

While England prepared to do battle with Spain for the Euro Championship, and Argentina prepared to do the same against Columbia in the Copa América Finals, the Honey Badgers were first up to take on their old Over 40A rivals Travis FC yesterday morning.

Travis FC showed up with a bevy of teenagers, but ironically were without their boisterous sideline group of WAGS who must have been trying to bust into the Copa final, thinking they wanted bigger fish to scream their obscenities at.

No worries, as the Honey Badgers had some youngsters of their own to throw at’em, including Mark, Andrew and young Nolan. Along with those three, Cameron Road assembled a small army on the sidelines with a tent bursting at the seems with over 20 players. The battle may have been won before the game even started as CRU had a Cold War’s supply of talent to deploy against Travis FC.

With the first line of Badgers on the pitch to start the game, Cameron Road looked lively. Scotty (sometimes confused for an orange peel on the sidelines) was dumping in some long-range crosses from the right wing for any takers. Mark was going toe-to-toe with the teenage wingers from Travis FC. Matt was taking the brunt of the initial round of terrible calls from the referee.

But Cameron Road’s first goal came from a usual source as Derek got a rebound and smashed it home with tiny authority to the near post to the chants of his new song, “Derek is back! Derek is back!” – which was later modified during the post game to the tune of The Players 1977 smash hit “Baby Come Back,” which Chappy and Jefe will gladly sing to you with vocal harmonies if asked.

With an early lead, the Badgers never looked back.

With Nolan in goal, Jaybone was unleashed for his annual summer minutes in the field, completing his passes with Xavi-like accuracy.

There was a bit of a strange moment during the first half with Chappy playing in front of Big Dave on the left. Playing cautious with one of the teenagers in front of them, at one point Big Dave called out for “Mike” to get goalside. “Mike!?” Instructions were understood, but as the pair walked onto the field for the second half Big Dave, or David as he is now know, wondered just why in the hell his brain told him to call Monsieur Chappy “Mike,” as it is known Ryan Willis is the only player allowed to chastise him by one of his given names.

Nolan got into the swing of things with his second game in a row between the pipes as he punched away a shot and attempted to send the attacker home in a body bag…. like father like son.

With a near carbon copy of the first goal, Miguel smashed home a second from the same spot. Throw in a typical Mark screamer and the Badgers had 3 goals on the boards in the first 30 minutes.

Adam also got into the mix with a fine nutmeg in the center circle and proceeded to head towards goal after dishing. Derek’s subsequent cross across the goal simply required any part of Adam’s body for a tap-in a the back post, but he must have been spooked by Jesus’ pre-game Stand By Me tales of what he found in the treeline.

Guillermo also had a pop at goal after a run through the heart of the Travis FC defense, but his jet-lagged brain and paella-filled tummy caused him to shank one of target.

But it wasn’t that easy, as Travis FC were also running hot and their teenagers dropped in two nice long-range goals to claw back into the game. What was also running hot were tempers, mostly because of the terrible refereeing. Mark got hip checked and continually was targeted for fouls, but the referee wasn’t giving the calls, which did not sit well with Badgertown.

The Honey Badgers were also passing well during the first half, linking some nice one-touches and triangles instead of their usual gung-ho counterattacking tactics.

Thankfully, the half ended before all hell really broke loose, and tempers were calmed with the soothing powers of Adam’s oranges which also helped Pete narrowly avoided (another) case of high seas scurvy. On a yellow, Matt also continued his vision quest into the Spirit World as he “opted out” of the second half under the guidance of the team shaman, Jefe.

The second half was much more calm. With their backs against the wall, Travis and the teens were looking to get back into the game, but the boys at the back weren’t having it. Billy, Guillermo, Jefe, Danimal, David, Nick, Chris G and company were keeping things tight in front of Nolan.

But at the other end, Mark’s brute force and creativity set up the fourth goal as he took a Hulk Hogan slap to the face which resulted in a free kick. But suspiciously no yellow card was given, as Chappy had to give the entire CRU bench a pineapple. Conor was in a strange, submissive kneeling posture as he “talked” to the referee about the indecent, but self-ejected himself to the Tent of Zen before earning himself a card. Andy stepped up to take the kick and sent in a ball better than anything Harry Kane did all tournament as it glided down into the box. Derek was there to drive it in at the back post for his second goal to put the Honey Badgers back up by two goals.

In the closing quarter of the game, the Badgers kept up the pressure, with Pete scurrying hard to starboard as he weaved through the Travis FC defense before subbing out. The youngsters did pull one back to make it interesting at 4-3, but Mark put the icing on the cake with his second atom bomb from distance to put the game out of reach for a thrilling 5-3 Cameron Road victory!

Man-of-the-Match: Lot’s of choices this week! Mark and Derek each had 2 goals, but we kind of expect that from them, don’t we? This week’s honors go to the Cameron Road teenager as Nolan notched his first win between the pipes as a Honey Badger, which was surely a proud moment for his poppa. Cheers!

Post-Match-Report: Oh boy. Good times in the tent for sure! First up, it was SWAG DAY for Cameron Road as Chappy handed out new hats and patches. Everyone was looking good! Jefe gave Nolan his first icing. Chappy dumped Conor’s cooler full of ice in Jefe’s lap. Derek got a new theme song. The boys enjoyed the competent “Moose” ref the following game. A crazy white bird took a seat on the goalpost, withstood a corner kick, but was almost destroyed by a CC United player. Barefoot penalties took place. But the story of the post-game was Ciro’s attempted hoarding of his homemade empanadas! One Chappy spotted them, the vultures circled to gobble them up. All in all, it was a fantastic afternoon from the best Summer League roster on the planet.