Honey Badgers Got So Much Trouble On Their Minds And Refuse To Lose As They Turn Onion Creek Into Their Own Private Thunderdome

The Honey Badgers beat Club America 3-1 on opening day of the Summer Season and still haven’t lost in 2018.

While the forecast was for thundershowers, the only thing that the clouds did was to hover over the fields at Onion Creek and take a humidity dump for 90 minutes. It. Was. Hot. And muggy.

Many a Badger arrived early for the wired-up tent viewing area to watch Mexico pull off a stunner over Ze Germans. That result most likely had a direct effect on the opponent’s early attendance as they only started the game with 7 celebrating players.

Cameron Road decided to do the right thing and hold off on any scoring until they had a full squad assembled  – you know, sportsmanlike and shit.

On the opposite bench, the Honey Badgers pretty much suited up a full squad, and even added an elusive Clark Field legend to bolster the already overpowering central midfield.

So, for the first 20 minutes or so, the Honey Badgers toyed with their opponents, depositing random dead cobra parts in front of the goal and about the pitch.

When Club America got their full team together, they relied on their very own “Grande David” who owned a powerful shot from distance. He beat the Badgers with an explosive shot to give the visitors the lead. Surely they all had visions of the Germany game in their minds, but the Honey Badgers would not roll over so easily.

There were some varied formations that the Honey Badgers were deploying. Billy took a turn at right midfield (and learned what it’s like to be offside), Danimal had a run out at forward, BT took Danny’s place in central defense, and Brian S might have been seen on the left wing at some point.

Oranges

The Honey Badgers came out in the second half with a point to prove, and it wasn’t too long before the tried and true forward line started lighting things up.

Working the middle of the Club America defense like Luke’s Grandmother rolling out her famous biscuit dough, Ciro stole a ball and got it to McKenna who was ghosting inside the box on the left. Steve dinked the ball past the keeper with the outside of his right foot to put the Honey Badgers level.

Next up, the Club America keeper went on a bit of a walkabout, and after a deep turnover, Derek launched it past him for a 35 yard open goal strike.

Next up, with just a little bald pressure applied, a Club America central defender played a terrible back pass right into the path of Sweet D and he buried it to quickly go up 3-1.

The fight in Club America was pretty much up after that, but the Honey Badgers continued to put on the pressure and try to get some more goals.

Chappy blasted a deadly header towards goal from a Willis corner kick, but just like in the bedroom, he’s still firing blanks.

Adam got into the box and came close to nabbing a few crosses, and Willis missed a sitter from a mouse whisker away.

So Club America probably got off easy with a 3-1 defeat. But I’m sure they didn’t care too much after Mexico’s historic victory earlier in the day. Viva la Mexico.

Man-of-the-Match: Picking up right where he left off from the regular season, Derek pounded in two second half goals to put the game out of reach.