WIN: 2-0 vs Bat City – Badgers Bounce Back Beating Bat City with Beerca Bellowing from the Sidelines

Game two of the young season and Cameron Road was looking for an improvement over last week’s game at NEMP. Speaking of NEMP, the trade winds from Pflugerville must have been blowing because Onion Creek was gusty. A strategic coin toss win saw the Badgers get the big winds for the second half surge, if they could only survive the first half.

The Badgers welcomed back Danimal, Big Dave, Gigi and Jake for their first action of the season, and had a nice group of four subs to choose from.

With the wind at their backs, Bat City was on the attack in the first half with the Badgers barely able to clear the ball across midfield. Jake started the game, testing out the gravity on this planet and was looking every bit like he just came off the set of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly 2.

Early on, Ciro did something quite unusual, as he won a header. (he’s quite small you see). Bat City continued to press the issue with the wind at their backs, camping out in the Badgers half for most of the opening 45 minutes and they hit the crossbar a few times with long-range efforts.

Three of the dudes playing their first game of the season had an immediate impact. Gianluca was back up top, running his tiny shorts off as usual and upping the Badgers shots on target. Danimal was busy winning 50-50 balls and fell victim to the classic “Hey, take it easy, we’re 40 and have to work really jobs in the morning.” His response was crystal clear, “this IS me taking it easy!” And Big Dave, with perhaps the play of the game, saved a ball off the line with his big head, sacrificing a few pieces of rib meat in the process.

Jeff Z, looking to impress his better half on the sidelines, tried his best attempt of a Chappy header own-goal, but luckily he was just off target.

The referee wasn’t interested in much throughout the first half as it seemed like several hand balls were not being called. He was too busy flagging Chappy for offside several times, not knowing how to judge the 52 year olds racehorse like speed while timing his runs. (a very very ancient racehorse, soon to be put out to pasture of course)

Probably the closest Cameron Road came to the opponents net was Danny’s long-range sizzling shot that drifted just wide.

But surviving the half in the face of a massive wind was job one, and with that done, the Badgers feasted on oranges knowing they would be running downhill for the rest of the game.

At the opening whistle, Danny pushed up doing his best Zan Kolmanic impression. The Badgers were now enjoying the benefits of the wind at their backs, seeing more time not he ball in the Bat City half.

Double Eights had a great shot saved just from dropping in the back corner as he rocketed it from the far left-hand side. Gigi also brought his shooting boots, and was pinging in efforts from distance, and would have been clear in on goal if not for the dreaded offside.

Jefe took a long-range pop at the tree line with his new boots. (did everyone hear, Jefe got new boots)

But Cameron Road’s prayers were finally answered as Jesus stepped up for the opening goal after being gifted a back pass by a Bat City defender. With divine instincts, Jesus slotted the ball past the keeper’s right side for the 1-0 lead!

With a small cushion to play with, the Honey Badgers went looking for more. Adam came close from the back post. Chappy made a quite wonderful Dimitar Berbatov-like long-range trap, but then immediately passed the ball out of bounds down the line. Derek got a ball on the right and rounded the keeper who came charging out, but had too many folks to beat and a tight angle. Speaking of tight angles, Ciro also had a shot from that spot to the right of the box, but we all know where that shot was directed.

As Danny stepped up to take a long-range free kick that would surely be remembered by all (I mean, how could anyone forget its epic, arching trajectory as it made its majestic arching path towards the Honey Badgers assembled at the Bat City goal), Nasty Nate stood at the ready. After a few bounces in his direction, he emphatically slammed a bouncing ball into the upper half of the net releasing his guttural war cry in the process for a 2-0 lead. Great goal after a long rehab. Maybe one day he will actually get a crest for his jersey.

And that was all she wrote as the Badgers got back on track with a win vs Bat City. Next up is a date with the first place team, Travis County FC.

Man-of-the-Match: He’s big. He’s back. He slide tackles. He grills fajitas. And today, he saved Jaybone’s territory from a certain goal with a flying, rib-popping header… he’s Big Dave!

Post-Match-Report: Genius idea for Guillermo’s old boots. Why does Ciro have no gray hair? Nate’s victory lap. IPA’s are gross. Chappy decides to spare Nate’s soul by only icing his ankles at dusk.