Honey Badgers Don’t Give a Shit, Win 7th Straight
As the tree-line purred a seducing song like the Greek sirens yore, 11 brave and bloodthirsty Honey Badgers took the pitch Sunday morning, 10 AM sunshine. Jay stood between the pipes as Billy, Adam, Steve and Luke made up the back line. Way, Ciro, Daniel and Scott were mixing it up in the middle and Zoran and Jean Luca manned the offense.
We faced an unfamiliar foe, a young team sponsored by the delicious taco shack, Torchy’s Tacos. While Torchy’s were young, they weren’t experienced as a team, or in man-manners, for that matter.
Zoran struck the first blow of the game when he was taken out by a sloppy slide tackle by their sweeper and landed elbow-first on the guy’s ribs. Their sweeper was out for good, Zoran didn’t even sustain a scratch and we were able to take out the keystone of their defense early in the game.
Cameron Road had the most chances early in the game. Our first great opportunity came from a line drive corner kick from Peterson that shot through three players before it skimmed off the top of Luke’s head – misplaying it and missing a golden opportunity for an early lead.
Torchy’s then saw some chances with a few fast breaks and timely crosses in the box, but the defense and Jay were there every time to clear it out. Jay played phenomenal off his line to keep their swift forwards from gaining too much of an advantage over our back line.
With stellar play in the offensive third, Ciro violently burst their defense on the left wing like a dragon through a cloud of fire and took the ball to and then down end line, crossing it to a den of honey badgers sitting in the box. Jean Luca unselfishly let it roll through to Scott, who planted our first goal in the far left post for a 1-0 lead.
Scott almost had a second within moments when he slammed a cross into the side netting with his right heel from between his legs; Quite clever and nearly genius.
We went into halftime with a 1-0 lead and another young team baffled by our Clark Field-style experience.
With the kickoff and fresh jokes, the Honey Badgers came out blazing like Cheech and Chong at Woodstock. Early in the half, Ciro stole the ball from a fumbling defender, dribbled at the keeper and blasted a goal over his left shoulder into the warm embrace of the net. CRU 2 – 0 Torchy’s.
Within moments, Ciro again dribbled the same defender and put a cross through the box to the feet of an uncovered Scott, who passed it into the net with a gentlemen’s touch.
CRU 3 – 0 Torchy’s
Torchy’s didn’t take too kindly to getting schooled by a bunch of old dudes. A few of their standout players decided to try to take over the game and dribble our defense. After a series of tremendous saves by Jay, one of their midfielders caught a gap and put a firm shot to the lower right corner of the net. CRU 3 -1 Torchy’s.
During their failed comeback, a few Torchy’s “tacos” decided to get a bit feisty with Billy, BT and Jean Luca, and found themselves surrounded by a den of badgers. As they firmly stated, they are 19 and don’t have to put up with this shit. Well, son, Honey Badgers don’t give a shit that you’re 19. We’ll take the goals, stupid. Then we’ll take a huge shit in your bee’s nest.
And that did happen. See you again in the fall, Torchy’s.
The final whistle blew and the Cameron Road United Honey Badgers pushed their winning streak to a record(?) 7 games.
Man of the Match: Several players deserved this award this week. Scott for his two goals, Jay for several key saves, but the man with the magic this last game was Ciro. Not only did he have 1 goal and 1 assist, I believe he had the hockey assist on the other goal. AND… he even avoided his weekly, post-game shower a la Chappy. Well done, Ciro!
