An Ode to NEMP, By Our Own Adam’s Arms

The Winds of NEMP

A sea shanty by Adam Greenspan. Performed by Pete.

Feast yer eyes on that thar moon, upon its pitch you’ll be playing soon.
The Winds of NEMP will spell your doom, har har!

It billows nets like sails at sea, rips holes in them so goals fly free,
The Winds of NEMP, hey refeREE, har har!

Nastier than Nasty Nate, Guillermo’s chair will aviate,
The Winds of NEMP are why I’m late, har har!

Yes the Winds of NEMP, they blow Jake down.
Blow Chap offside, Willis to the Crown.
They send all of Ciro’s shots to the goalieeeee.
They cut Derek back, make Gigi flip,
Why all of us shank corner kicks,
Make it difficult to not pee on your cleeeeeats.
Those winds of NEMP, yo ho, and FTP!

They’ll flip yer tent if you’ve no stakes, tear grandma’s biscuits into flakes,
Jefe wakes and Jefe bakes, har har!

Well I bet that you miss Onion Creek, the treeline’s shelter that you seek,
Jesus tazes your buttcheek, har har!

They could sink ol’ Shwarzy’s party barge, make Jeff Z seem but half as large,
That was a fair shoulder charge, har har!

Yes the Winds of NEMP, they are a drag,
They’ll send you home in a bodybag,
They tripped that guy, that surely wasn’t meeeeee.
Make Dave slide far and Billy swear,
They foul Yuni and Parks is there.
They almost can keep up with our Chris Ggggggggggg.
Make Peterson redo his hair.
Andy’s wardrobe doesn’t care.
They have a general air of dentistryyyyyyy.
Those winds of NEMP, yo ho, and FTP!
Those winds of NEMP, *jumps tent*, and FTP!