Summer Game #5 – Tent 5000 – Travis FC 3

The actual game was just a tiny portion of the soccer sandwich from Sunday as it took place between the debut of the new tent and the epic post game festivities.

The tent is a glorious masterpiece. Some say it can be seen from space. It certainly is a beacon of average 40-year old soccer instantly recognizable when walking out of your car at Onion Creek.

The game was a good one against old rivals Travis FC. They only had 2 youngsters on the roster yesterday, which made for a much more even affair. Cameron Road ended up with 3 subs and plenty of cloud cover, although the humidity was nearing a zillion percent.

With Andy and Gianluca out, the Honey Badgers started the game with the Irish Pirate up top with Derek. The elder Clay was in goal with 3 out of 4 cubs on the sideline. The rest of the lineup was the usual cast of characters sprinkled throughout the pitch.

Within minutes, Pete and Scotty had a nice view of a fairly open goal, but the chance was not to be as Travis escaped their early defensive peril. Travis did manage to get behind the Badgers and nab an early goal, but it wasn’t time to panic.

With the “tiny trident” of Ciro, Scotty and Derek on the pitch along with fellow vertically challenged Yunir in the mix, the Badgers turned to “the bigs” to get back in the game, throwing Conor and Matt into the box like a live grenade. Off a corner kick, Matt challenged the keeper, causing the ball to spill out into play. Conor finally latched onto it and rifled it home from close range to pull CRU even at 1-1. Typical scrappy Badger shit.

Speaking of Yunir, after a soft yellow card, he and a Travis player were practicing some sort of comedy routine on the far side of the pitch near the end of the half.

Halftime, and properly sourced, juicy oranges were back thanks to Adam’s arms.

The second half got underway. Chappy was continuing his defensive apprenticeship with Jefe’s foot acting up (life lesson learned – maybe don’t chop wood barefoot) and a bunch of other defenders unavailable. Pete and Adam got back up top to try to cause some havoc, and the rest of the squad was more of the same as Ruben checked his email for the 900th time on the sidelines.

But the Badgers fell pray to two more Travis goals, the third one somehow scampering across the pitch under the feet of just about everyone until it found it’s home to an unmarked player at the back post.

But Cameron Road weren’t done fighting as the Irish Pirate popped up at the right moment to take a left-footed shot that agonizingly rolled it’s way toward the back post and into the net to get the Honey Badgers within a goal. Pete almost had a second with a nearly identical left footer minutes later, but his left foot had already reverted to form.

The final 15 minutes were a bit chippy, and CRU had two great chances on the very last play of the game to nail the tying goal, but it just wasn’t happening.

No worries, because there was a post game to get to. Where to begin? Guillermo had a ton of beer and some alcoholic popsicles that were delicious. Ciro received his customary ice bath, filmed by Hendrix Clay who earned his first assist. There were more icings. Conor brought several hours worth of entertainment with his Spotkick Soccer Cornhole set that saw Chappy and Scotty win a match with a bold no-look walkoff finale. And then, apparently since your constant editor had fled the scene 3 beers in, shit got real. The Jesus showed up with some sort of a cattle prod brass knuckle device. Well, of course it had to be tested on human flesh. The tipping point came when Derek was to be the final test subject, and an advancing Jefe caused Lil’D to go into absolute panic mode. But as he tried to scamper out the way he tripped over nearly everything in the Badger Den, and when Jefe finally jujitsu his way on top of him they both received some serious shocks from the Jesus’ torture device. Word is Derek and Jefe are still laughing. I am fairly crushed I missed this in the flesh.

Man-of-the-Match: Pete got his goal.

Men-of-the-Post-Match: Guillermo had the frozen booze. Conor had the giant corn hole. The Jesus brought the heat.