Win: 2-1 vs Santos – Cameron Road Shows Some Grit As They End The Season With A Big Win!
On a sunny field strewn with hope and an atmospheric sponge of humidity, the mighty Cameron Road United Honey Badgers marched into battle once more, armed with two subs, questionable stretching routines, and the need to end the season on a high note and regain some long-lost self respect.
The match opened with intensity as Cameron Road pinged the ball around, but things got real when Chappy, like a predator in the tall grass, latched onto the ball from a rather annoying and verbose Santos defender and fed it delicately off the outside of the boot to Gigi who slotted it home from close range for the rare early Cameron Road goal. That might have also wrapped up the Golden Boot for Gianluca unless Derek could counter with a few goals of his own.
From there, the Honey Badgers battered the Santos goal with chances for next 35 minutes. Peterson put up a cross as perfect as one of his tuna sandwiches as the Bald Dome of Power rose like a caffeinated salmon and head butted the ball just wide of the post.
Schwarzy had a golden chance with a shot from a nifty move, but the ball clearly had other plans. Derek danced into the box twice promising magic, but he was late on his Hogwarts monthly subscription and thus was twice denied glory. Guillermo nabbed a header inside the box.
Just before halftime, Gigi reminded everyone he was an offensive menace as he danced into the box and let loose a shot that was blocked before reaching its intended final resting place at the back of the net.
Oranges and Philosophical musings. As children ran amok, the team sucked down orange slices and contemplated existential questions like:
“Why does Danimal kick the ball like it’s done him personal harm?”
Santos came out hungry for the second half, desperately trying to get back into the game so that they could finish the season ahead of the Cameron Road, but the defense was standing firm. Guillermo was doing his usual leading from the center. Chris G was running down (and into) attackers with general disregard for anything except launching the ball to safety. Jeff Z and Brian Parks stood their ground in the face of Santos attacks. And Jefe was in the mix providing valuable minutes in this five man defensive rotation.
With Jaybone sunning himself on the beaches of Lake Minnetonka wearing Doc Martins and smoking Pall Malls, Danimal was back between the sticks, armed with a cannon for a leg that launched booming goal kicks into the stratosphere of the tree line.
The game turned a bit heated and discombobulated when the referee instituted his “three walls of madness.” First up, Cameron Road won a free kick as a back pass was played to the keeper which he scooped up. Actually, shouldn’t that have been a penalty? The linesman argued for it, but the referee had other plans as Santos set up their wall inside the box. “Only three men in the wall!” The referee repeatedly instructed as both teams were baffled and confused at the new line of on-the-spot rules changes that only Pam Bondi could have rubber stamped. This happened not once, but twice as the Badgers earned another dangerously close-range free kick, but the referee insisted they could only put three men in the wall. Strange, yet Santos held firm, turning the Badgers away both times.
Santos managed to claw one back to make it interesting with a scorcher of a shot, making it 1-1.
Shortly after that, Danimal summoned a save that defied physics, karma, and maybe zoning laws, parrying a bullet header that would’ve tied it.
As Cameron Road continued to soak up the pressure, Chappy slipped over the ball like a banana peal, giving up possession and Santos earned themselves a free kick outside the box. As Danimal’s battlecry of “FIVE MEN IN THE WALL” echoed on the battlefield, the referee (you have to admire his consistency of bad policy) insisted there could only be three. Again, without any explanation when confronted. After a heated debate, the kick came in a fizzed just wide of the post, but it would be the last of the danger coming from Santos.
With time running out, the Honey Badgers dialed up the heat, trying desperately to grab a second goal that would end the game and season on a high. Peterson got sent in from Gianluca for a glorious run at goal, but his shot sailed over the bar.
With Ciro subbing in for Schwarzy to inject some tiny energy onto the pitch at the end of the game, the Honey Badgers delivered the coup de grace.
Starting off the brilliant play, Adam got the ball to Ciro who found Peterson streaking down the right. CP88 took the ball to the byline and fired a perfect cross to the back post where Adam and his various flailing body parts were waiting like some sort of divine soccer pinball machine. With a touch off the thigh/leg/shin area, the ball sailed into the far corner of the net for the winning goal as time ran out just after the kick off! A fitting end to an up-and-down season.
Man-of-the-Match: With a flick of his right boot, Peterson set up the winner at just the right moment. And since there’s no official award given for the Golden Assist Maker, let’s take a minute to celebrate CP88s season-leading tally of 7 assists and navy shorts.
Post-Game-Report: Victory. Euphoria. Mild joint pain. All of these things were in play as the Honey Badgers wrapped up a 28 point, 4th place finish with a celebratory Extreme Mountain Dew.
