Post Game Carnage
Yesterday’s post game deserves its own write up as it was one for the ages. It had everything you’d want including: plumes of smoke, icings, a wrestling match and guided meditation.
Ciro kicked it off by describing the game as a “kerfuffle.” A kerfuffle? When did he morph into a 1950’s ad executive? From there, it only got better as Chappy gifted him an 8.3 ABV Imperial Gold Top for his lexicon and assist.
Jefe retold the story of his scarf to anyone that would listen while Nate offered up his favorite boudoir pastimes, giving new meaning to his Nasty Nate moniker.
The Jeff’s got iced, not in tandem, but separately, by the usual, bald ice bandit as he made his debuit for 2023 with his liquid tributes. Jefe was the first to receive a shower, with Jeff Z in shock he wasn’t the target. But the lure of his bare, shirtless top proved to much temptation as he was given a follow up icing of his own.
Danny then proceeded to mention the score of the Man U Liverpool game, sending Chappy to quickly check his phone and immediately wish he hadn’t.
But then, like the game played on the pitch, things took quite a dramatic turn. For some reason, Jefe had it in for Chappy’s beloved, slightly damaged but still usable, blue chair. Perhaps fueled from his icing, or perhaps just a sense of how crappy a sitting device it was compared to his glorious and sturdy blue rocker, he decided to take matters into his own hands as he lept like a Puma from the treeline to destroy the chair for good.
As the scene played out, for the second time in less than a year Chappy became a human belt, trying to hold onto Jefe and protect the sovereign territory of the blue chair. But a Captain 2 ciders in can be an unpredictable, uncontrollable beast, and he deployed a Kobra Kai leg sweep, sending the pair flat on the turf in a hurry to Danimal’s shock and surprise. But Jefe would also not be denied as he proceeded to obliterate and demolish the beloved blue chair into scrap metal and fabric. Danny curled up into a turtle-like ball on the ground and eventually had to seek some comfort with a mid-field meditation to explain what he just saw. The scene’s final moments saw Jefe attempt to soak Chappy with water as he spun around on the ground displaying his “cat like reflexes.”
Rumor on the street is that Jefe has hired the services of Big Dave to represent his workers comp claim, but Chappy is already out ahead of the story utilizing the services of the My Pillow Guy and America’s Mayor, Rudy Guiliani.
Lessons learned? 1. Never leave early. 2. Chappy probably needs a sideline handler to alert the team if a second cider has been consumed. 3. The power of the post-game as a tough loss healing agent has yet again been confirmed.
