CRU 3 – Inter Milan 1

Chappy here…. posting up Lukes report all the way from Mexico. See you guys soon!

As team “Chap-tain” settled his gargantuanly-nude head down for a lazy week of Coronas and charro beans, Cameron Road United strapped on the supple leather boots, slid on the compression shorts, and groomed their finely-trimmed war beards for a battle against the ironically-named Inter Milan. 

On an Sunday afternoon where cloud cover was sparse and both teams set up their tents within spitting distance of each other, summer league hit a new high at 105 degrees. It would be a fierce battle of conditioning, acclimation, and who had the most substitutions. 

The game started off with CRU seizing control of the ball early. The midfield, missing a toe-broken Peterson, was still able to effectively move the ball with outstanding vision of the passing and shooting lanes with 30 yards out.

Early on, BT split the D for an excellent through-ball to myself who ran onto it at the six and one-touched a left-footed shot low and steady to the far post. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough “goal butter” put on it and the keeper was able to get his fingertips on it and to push it wide. My destiny of moonwalking in celebration was sadly avoided for another play. 

CRU’s defense played like Andre the Giant in The Princess Bride: poetically composed and physically dominant. Bob the Giant, Cuyler, aka “The Beard”, and Big John took control of the air game with their size and presence, winning 50/50 balls like angry beavers at the Lumberjack Olympics. 

A normally quick, speedy and dangerous #20 for Inter Milan was successfully silenced by Billy and Steve, who’s great marking kept his back to the goal for the majority of the game. One through-ball did slip by the giant grasp of our defense for their only, lonely goal of the day. Inter Milan temporarily sat on the lead, 1-0. 

Another great nod to the D: For the second straight week, the back line continued to switch fields with the ball and mix up the approach efficiently. This allowed our attack to move well up front, making crossing runs into space and opening up the middle for more seamless transitions through the mid-field. As CRU pushed the attack up with great passing, it was evident the game was far from over. 

Although their keeper was able to stop the first offensive push, he was unable to keep his hands on the ball. Time and time again, their keeper knocked shots down into the box instead of catching them. Either we were really putting some mustard on the ball, or this guy just got a manicure. For the sake of argument, let’s go with a combination of both. The offense continued to crash the goal and it paid off, as Ciro collected a deflected shot and nestled it in the net to equalize the scorecard. 1-1. 

The “dragon” was now officially awake and hungry. More composed ball movement in the mid-field between Ciro “the Magnificent”, B “hold the L” T, “Beam Me Up” Scotty, The McDerminator and Chris “The Chest” Vestre, created an opportunity for our summer phenom, Stephen, to attack. “The Chest” was able get a ball to Stephen’s feet at the top of the 18 yard box, where he two-touched a left-footed, curving scorcher into the upper left ninety. Cameron Road United took the lead 2-1 into halftime, and never looked back at the charred remains of Inter Milan’s dignity. 

The sun must have noticed how much fun we were having, because he delivered punishing rays of heat throughout the game and, especially, the second half. What used to be a rarity in past summers, CRU had three solid subs throughout the game that enabled everyone to take it up that extra notch, all the way to 11.  

The second half was a fine display of ideal Cameron Road soccer. Solid defense with a dominating presence shut down any attempt by Inter Milan to get back in the game. Our midfield hustled both directions and marked up very well. Willis’ uncanny ability to play forward and marking back at the same time leads me to believe that he could possibly be a shape shifter. Jay’s play in goal could only be described with aggressive hand gestures, a crotch grab, and a resounding “heeeeeee-heeeeeeee!” echoing from the majestic tree line. 

In the end, the game was put safely away when Stephen ran down a through-ball and push it passed the goalie for his second of the game. CRU 3, Inter Milan 1. Cameron Road United moves to 2-2-1 in summer league and getting better. I hope everyone has a festive and dangerously safe holiday weekend. See everyone on the 12th of July, when we play “Fade to Black’ at 11:50 PM on OCSC 1. It is rumored they have been unable to field a full team all summer, so let’s show up and give ‘em the business, Cameron Road style! 

Man of the Match: Like a prophecy foretold by the ancient bones of our ancestors (or just pre-game banter with Stephen), Stephen was able to deliver the two-goal game he felt like he had in him on Sunday.  

Honorable mention: Like a sabertooth tiger losing his fang in battle, Ryan Willis’ cleats lost a spike and ended up in the beer can graveyard, after a game where it seemed like he was anywhere and everywhere all at once. 

Man of the Post-Match Weathering the heat of the day and an inconsistent supply of beer for the eight hours, our good friend from Struggle FC, Scott, was there to cheer on the CRU side until our last beer was tossed and our village of tents came down. Cheers, Scott, for being so supportive of your division rival!