357 Days and The Wait is Over. Honey Badgers Beat Dragons 2-1!

5:55 am – Jefe text Chappy to tell him that it’s raining Dragon Tears.

5:58 am – Ryan takes first shit of morning.

6:48 am – Jefe arrives at fields.

7:06 am – Ryan takes second shit of morning

7:10 am – Chappy captures rainbow on drive showing exact location of Zeke’s Honey Pot like the staff of Ra from Raiders of the Lost Ark…. the Dragon’s staff it too long! They’re digging in the wrong spot!

7:20 am – Chappy, Derek, and Jefe’s cars are the only one’s in the Onion Creek parking lot.

7:30 am – Badgers assemble, begin pre-game headers and shooting over the bar practice.

7:50 am – First Dragons arrive. Nasty Nate has on game face.

8:07 am – Gigi slots ball to Peterson on the left who absolutely sends his packets and emails into the top right corner. Jorges is shellshocked. So are Honey Badgers. WHAT A STRIKE!!

8:12 am – Dragons come close!

8:17 am – Badgers come close!

8:20 am – Chappy dribbles ball for more than 5 seconds! Nasty Nate takes him down. No foul given. Respect.

8:27 am – Big Dave and Jefe have defensive differences. Beef squashed. Dragons attacking soft underbelly of Cameron Road.

8:32 am – Bret yells at ref (most likely).

8: 35 am – Ball hits tiny arm of Ciro in box. No call! Badgers escape.

8:38 am – Jaybone makes MVP winning save with fingertip push over bar.

8:41 am – Ryan picks up ball at center of pitch, heads towards Dragon goal. The seas part like Moses with two stone Harry Potter books. Jorges come out. The chip sails….. over the bar.

8:43 am – Halftime. Badgers on top. Adam is out of town. No oranges!!! But wait, Gigi finds one solitary orange hidden deep within his rucksack. Orange rationed. Vitamin C replenished.

8:50 am – Second half gets underway. Badgers looking a bit shaky.

8:56 am – Turnover at midfield. Dragons on the move….. the young Ibraham slots home from the right flank! Dragons 1 – 1 as Jorges goes wild.

9:05 am – Houston starts to exert his presence on the right. Makes many runs. Blasts at goal.

9:10 am – Bret yells at ref (most likely)

9:12 am – Dragons illegal back pass. Honey Badger indirect free kick 10 yard out. Jorges makes fantastic save.

9:16 am – Nick the Striker tugs on Gigi’s jersey inside the box…. no foul!

9:19 am – Ciro surges forward and is chopped down just outside box. Messi takes free kick before anyone is ready. Dragons have self-inflicted meltdown. Re-kick. No goal. Game getting testy.

9:20 am – Ibraham makes run down right flank. Big Dave absolutely lights him up. Ankle. But he has young bones and eventually walked away. Get well!

9:25 am – Badgers win throw in in Dragon territory. Big Dave channels Luke’s Grandmother’s biscuits and lobs ball to Derek who turns and finds space on the left of the box! Keeper comes out! GAME WINNER IS SCORED AS DEREK LOFTS IT TO THE BACK OF THE NET!!

9:28 am – Ref says there are 2 minutes left.

9:30 am – Game Over. Victory.

9:32 am – Yunir thought ref said 10 minutes. Loses tiny mind. Curses in Cuban to 16 year old referee. Red Card.

9:34 am – Nate brings Chappy victory Austin Eastcider 6 pack.

9:35 am – Chappy shows Clark Field respect and gives Nasty Nate 6 pack of Love Street.

9:36 am – Drew gets text.

9:40 am – Pop that champagne!!

10:50 am – Jorges and Yunir invited into Badgertown. They are well-mannered guests.

10:58 am – Jefe shows Yunir a red card.

11:13 am – Jeff Z basks in glory of his first Honey Badger win. Others tell him it’s fairly commonplace.

11:26 am – Chappy is 3 ciders in, decides to take long-range free kicks at Badgertown, much to the delight of his teammates.

12:04 pm – A raven comes! News from the West. Punters lose!

12:12 pm – Peterson and Ryan have shirtless embrace.

5:36 pm – Jefe leaves Onion Creek, professing love for his teammates and all things Cameron Road on the way home.