CRU 10 – Celtic Cowboys 1

On Sunday, Cameron Road exercised the demons of years past by dropping a dime on the Celtic Cowboys and earning a 10-1 victory. Never mind these weren’t the higher division Irishmen who had tormented Cameron Road for years in D2 – on the pitch, the uniforms and accents were the same, and these merry lads paid for the sins of their higher-skilled brothers.

Once again, Cameron Road fielded a full side 16 players strong while Celtic struggled to put an extra man on the sidelines. The game started off lively with Cameron Road attacking from the opening whistle. Steve McKenna was first to get on the score sheet as he gathered the ball on the left side of the box, rounded a few defenders and drilled a shot off the dew-covered grass into the back of the net. A sizzling start for the boys in yellow and blue after only 5 minutes. If that wasn’t good enough, Steve doubled the lead soon after that with another close-range shot. And if that wasn’t good enough, minutes later Steve turned provider when he got the ball deep on the right side of the Celtic box and rolled it to Chappy, who coolly one-timed his shot past the keeper and Cameron Road were off to the races.

Up 3-0 after 10 minutes is usually a recipe for success – but on Sunday it proved to be only the appetizer to a full course beat down.

With Celtic shell shocked and stunned, Cameron Road continued to turn up the heat and throw grenades  into the box. The first one to explode was Luke, who netted from close range off a corner kick. 4-0 Cameron Road. Chris Vestre, sporting his yellow top for the first time, also had a good chance in front of goal, but the Celtic D were able to fall on the explosion to avoid more shrapnel.

Next up could have been Ciro, but his run into the box ended when he got tangled up and twisted an ankle – a lesser man would have called it a day, but Ciro took a brief break to tape it up and was seen later on hunting glory from the midfield.

Steve continued his front-line domination when Chappy stole a careless pass from a Celtic defender and flicked it into Steve’s path. Steve barreled down at goal and tried to round the keeper at the last minute, and this time his shot was turned away. Not to worry, because soon after that, Chappy was taken down inside the box after bursting through the defense and was awarded a penalty kick. The Captain stepped up to take his first PK in his fledgling footy career, and smashed it right up the gut past the keeper for a 5-0 lead.

Completing the first half route and his first hat trick for Cameron Road, Steve again scored when Scott played in a perfect ball. Not a bad shift for the CRU front line: 5 goals after 30 minutes.

The half time score was CRU 6 – Celtic 0 and it was time for some changes in the lineup. Cameron Road  decided to release Jay from his ho-hum morning at the back, turn loose the defenders, and flip the script on the field to make things more interesting.

At the start of the second half, Cameron Road’s back line included Willis, McKenna, Scott, Stripey  with Andy Michaelis between the pipes. Jay, Chris, Dave and Bob all took their turns up top looking to increase the lead.

Like a pack of Great Whites smelling chum in the water, the newly attacking Cameron Road players continued to chase goals and glory while Celtic tried desperately to stop the bleeding and walk away with some respect. Unfortunately for them, on this day the CRU machine wasn’t finished.

If you were on the pitch, you were shooting. Peterson, BT, Bob, Cuyler, Ciro and Scott all took pops at the crumbling Celtic defense, and midway through the half, Cameron Road employed the “double switch”, sending Steve “hat trick” McKenna into goal for a spell.

Next up on the score sheet was Cameron Road’s elder Scottsman, Billy. Scott broke free and sent in a nice cross which one-hopped on the ground into the path of Billy’s flowing locks. Billy nailed a header past the keeper for yeat another goal. 7-0 Cameron Road.

Soon after, Celtic got a boost when they scored off a corner kick. Unfortunately for them, it was off a Cameron Road corner kick and an own goal. Still, they seemed elated to have actually put one into the back of the old onion bag. 8-0 Cameron Road.

In a tender moment of mercy, Steve McKenna and Billy conspired to give Celtic a break, granting them an indirect free kick insde the box which pinballed its way into the back of the net. 8-1 Cameron Road.

With more time on the clock, Cameron Road couldn’t help but continue the route, and next up was Dave, showing the power that made him a legend “back in the day” on his first tour of duty. With his forward shift coming to a close, Dave smashed in a long range shot off the post to send CRU ever so close to their first double digit score line. 9-1 Cameron Road.

In a final act of domination, Cameron Road played the ball in through the middle of the field to Chappy who turned and slotted a ball to Willis making a run down the right side of the box. Ryan continued his goal scoring hot streak as he blasted in what is turning out to be his trademark shot from a very tight angle. Cue the fat lady singing, this one was finally over. 10-1 Cameron Road.

Man-of-the-Match: It’s hard to argue with Steve McKenna’s first half stats: 3 goals and 1 assist. That would pretty much seal the deal in any game. But to add to Steve’s first half hat trick, he played central defense and keeper in the second half. Well done Steve, Roy Hodgson would be proud.

Man-of-the-Post-Match: Cheers to Stripy for scoring with a post-game beer run.