Summer Game #6 – CRU 3 – Texas Eagles Teenage Soccer Sandbagging FC 5

Facing the prospect of playing an entire team whose combined age would still be less than Billy’s, Cameron Road put out the word that Sunday was mustache day. Many showed up heading the call, but proper facial hair was well under the 100% compliance needed for total and utter pre-game dominance.

Andy was back, fresh from breaking some bones in his neck. Very on brand. Jake was also back with mist….which failed. But his 15 gallons of precious lukewarm water was put to good use first as Leo’s private swimming pool, and then as a watery grave for Ciro.

Jaybone was back between the pipes filling in for Team Clay. All in all there were about 7 subs, 2 children, 1 wife, 1 fiancee, and 1 dog. Solid.

The Texas Eagles were a high-flying under 25 group of youngsters with not a gray hair in sight. They showed their early skills by keeping the ball and passing it around the back. Impressive, but who cares. The Honey Badgers came to play and dropped a surprise bomb on the kids as Peterson stood over an early long-range free kick from the left. As everyone watched, the kick just whizzed by everyone and dropped into the far corner for the opening early goal! Impressive. Unfortunately, 88’s gyrations aggravated his f-ed up shoulder and his day was finished (after jogging a few Nasty Nate style laps around the pitch to get his steps in)

At 1-0, the Eagles were a little stunned and got to attacking. One was taken down in the box with pretty much the first foul of the day, but the referee awarded a p/k. BANG! Off the post and Cameron Road kept the lead…. but not for long.

With a few quick passes, the Eagles flew behind the Badger lines and dropped in the tying goal.

At the other end, Cameron Road continued to make some chances. Chappy should have done better with a Conor cross into the box that the Bald Dome of Power connected with, but it flew wide of the post. Pete was doing Irish Pirate stuff, but his foot got stomped so he had to exit the game as well. (he opted for an early beer instead of running laps) Speaking of getting stomped, Yunir took one as well, but was okay to continue nutmegging people.

The Honey Badgers continued their early game success with another fantastic goal. Ruben got involved with his first summer action by hustling down a ball. There was some interplay between Chappy and Conor, and Scotty ended up with the ball driving down the right side of the box. With a return pass across the goal available, he decided to exert the full power of his mustache and roofed a hell of a shot past the keeper to go up 2-1.

Between Adam performing Dark Arts and Jaybone stopping shots, the kids must have scored two more goals, but damned if anyone can remember just what happened.

Oranges.

Down a goal, the Badgers were gaining confidence as the Eagles came out with their passing shoes on. But lo and behold Cameron Road scored a very “Cameron Road” goal early on. Jake was taking a shift up top and he chased down a ball headed towards the keeper and a defender. Some crazy shit happened as the keeper, Jake and the defender got a bit mixed up and the ball ended up bouncing behind the keeper. Jake, in a rare show of gravitational mastery, stayed upright and was able to get past all the chaos and roll a shot in with the outside of his boot to get the Badgers back in the game at 3 goals a piece.

As the heat raged from above, the Eagles started passing the ball really well and driving around the older, wiser, sexier Honey Badgers. Damn those youthful legs! Scotty was having none of it though, and his aggressive slide tackles were taking out Eagles and Badgers alike as he almost took Billy down with some friendly fire.

At around the 65 minute mark, the mustache powers of Cameron Road started to wain, and the offensive chances started drying up. The Eagles drilled another goal, but without many Jay saves they could have had more.

At 4-3 with the clock ticking down, Cameron Road had one more chance off a corner kick, but the ball was turned over as the Eagles cleared it. With Scotty pleading with the ref to call the game already and end the suffering, the ref let the play roll on as many weary Badgers watched the Eagles roll down the field and poke in a 5th goal. Then he blew the whistle. Harsh. But the Badgers did well to keep the game super close against the youngsters.

Man-of-the-Match: Jaybone was back between the pipes and helped keep things respectable.

Post-Match-Report: Popsicles, a deluge of waterfalls, and one trip to IKEA with swamp-ass.