LOSS: 0-2 vs Celtic Cowpokes – Onion Creek Turns Into NEMP As Badgers Drop Third In A Row

It was cold. It was windy. There were no subs. There was no tent. But there were donuts, and team of 11 hungry badgers looking to rebound from the last two weeks.

The lack of subs was not ideal for today’s game, as the wind was howling at Onion Creek. Luckily, Celtic were on even terms with no subs as well.

The referee didn’t have a coin to flip. Or didn’t speak English. Or who knows what, but the teams set up with Cameron Road going with the wind as Ciro instructed last week. And good thing, because the Honey Badgers were coming out of the gate pretty hot with a lot of the ball. They still faced the same issues with through balls going into the tree-line though.

At the back, Big Dave was back and looking to slide tackle somebody. Billy was on the opposite side with Guillermo and Chris G in the middle. Good to also have Chris G back since he was busy running down anything and everything.

Jaybone didn’t have much to do in the first half as the Badgers had the majority of the ball and were busy trying to carve out chances.

Peterson sent in a peach of a cross from the right to The Bald Dome of Power at the back post. But as Chappy got his head on it, the keeper just got enough of a touch to clear it over the bar.

The wind was wreaking havoc with the Celtic backline as they sent clearance after clearance out of bounds.

The Badgers were enjoying multiple free kicks and corner kicks looking for the opening goal, but it just wasn’t finding the back of the net.

Adam was busy doing “Adam stuff” as he fought hard to win back balls, and get demolished for free kicks.

The half ended with a bit of a dust up as there was a clear Celtic chicken wing hand ball inside the box on the last corner of the half, but the referee wasn’t too interested in doing much anything about it. Guillermo committed 100% to his protest, and his backpack took the full force of his anger on the sidelines.

Cold oranges.

Celtic had the wind to start the second half, but it was Cameron Road who was having the better run of play.

A bit of an unfortunate situation played out at the back early in the second half as the Honey Badgers went full Led Zeppelin and had a bit of a Communication Breakdown in front of goal allowing the Celtic attacker to walk in a goal.

Still, the Honey Badgers continued to get on the front foot and attack.

The plan against the wind was to play every ball short, and it was working to good effect. Jaybone would immediately get the ball to Guillermo or Big Dave to distribute it forward, and it was helping prevent costly turnovers.

The real tragedy took place as Cameron Road went on yet another attack against the wind and Derek went in for a ball against the keeper. Unfortunately, the keeper had about 100lbs on Sweet D and ended up with all of it on top of him. A tiny, painful scream was heard deep into the tree-line, stirring up concern from many a squirrel and deer. Derek’s ankle/leg was proper fucked, but at least there were no Carlos-like bones poking out of places that they weren’t supposed to be.

Derek’s day was done, and for whatever reason the Badgers had no subs to look to so they had to play out the final 30 minutes with only 10 men.

Truth be told, you couldn’t really tell as they continued to attack with Gigi’s hustle and bustle.

But like Pagoda to the late great Gene Hackman, Celtic stuck another shiv into the heart of the Honey Badgers as Dragon zipped in a low worm-burner to the near post for a 2-0 lead.

Still not fazed, the Badgers continued their assault. Gianluca lofted a great volley over the keeper that was goal-bound, but sweet mother of continued bad luck, it hit the crossbar.

With the Punters gathering on the sidelines for their game, Cameron Road sulked off the field for their 3rd straight straight loss. The defense is playing well enough to win every game, but it’s just not happening at the business end of the pitch right now. No doubt they will sort it out soon though, you can count on that.

And with the troubles of the last 3 games adding up, the CRU Board of Trustees has enlisted Elon and his recently formed special unit of review, D.O.N.U.T (Department Of Numpties Underutilizing Talent), to take a deep dive into what needs doing to turn this ship around.

Man-of-the-Match: Chris G was back, and like Roy Kent he was “here, there and every fucking where Chris G….. Chris G” Sure is nice to have the badger security blanket on the pitch. Also, big props to everyone who played 90 minutes with no subs.

Post-Game-Report: Tempers were hot as the frustration set in, but as the dust settled, everyone hugged it out and focused on the future. Everyone just wants to win and play well, but Cameron Road needs to kick their attack into high gear with the next run of games. The Punters beat Travis FC in typical boring fashion.