WIN: 4-2 vs Bat City: Honey Badgers Close Out The Season With A Big Win

Cameron Road came out guns blazing and won their final match of this up-and-down 2023/2024 season against Bat City on Sunday. Luckily, the Soccer Gods changed the start time to 8am instead of 2pm since the heat is officially here after two months of monsoons. But the Badgers came out strong with an eventual five subs to Bat City’s none. Well played.

With clipboard in hand, the on-site management duo of Jefe and Willis wanted to watch the first half and make appropriate adjustments. Also, it was never too early to start drinking margaritas and beers. It was probably 5:00 somewhere.

The Badgers were off to a crisp start with Ciro and 88 in central midfield controlling the play. Schwarzy warmed up on the sidelines to give CRU a powerful trifecta in the center of the pitch. On the wings, Chappy, Brian Parks, Jesus and an eventual Adam got things rolling as Pete slotted in anywhere across the midfield he was needed.

At the back, DANIMAL was back after a few months on the shelf. Big Dave, Billy, Jeff Z and New Chris rounded out the back line with Jaybonez-Thugs-and-Harmony between the pipes.

The usual dynamic duo was up top ready to show Bat City what the Honey Badgers think about the dental profession.

Like two teenagers in the back seat of a Honda Accord, the teams were feeling each other out for the opening minutes of the game. CRU came close as they won a corner kick that Chappy flicked to the back post, just out of Gianluca’s spider legged reach.

The best early chance fell to Chappy, as he tried to replicate Manchester United’s second FA Cup winning goal as Derek slide in a perfect pass to him on the left side of the six yard box. But unlike the calm composure young Kobbie Mainoo exhibited by slotting it home, Chappy leaned back like he was carrying Willis and the tree on his back and hit the shot over the far corner of the goal. Bloody hell.

Schwarzy treated the ball like a banana peel as he slid out from under it, smacking his head on the turf. Luckily he was okay as his billowy crop of hair cushioned the blow.

Jesus and Pete got into the game and started making things happen. Jesus was driving down the right as Pete lurked in the box on the left.

But for the second week in a row, Gianluca brought his shooting boots as Big Dave got him the ball and he nailed a shot past the keeper for the opening goal of the game.

1-0 Cameron Road

Showing they were not quite dead yet, even at the Marianas Trench like depths of the bottom of the table, Bat City nabbed a goal back to tie it up at one a piece. Not to worry. No panic in these Badgers who knew they had a job to do.

Thank goodness Adam showed up a little late, because that meant oranges. And with 45 minutes under his belt to break down Bat City, Jefe busted out the clipboard and drew up the winning strategy for the Honey Badgers, which was also “under the belt” if you catch my drift. Maybe you had to be there.

Knowing they needed the full three points, the Badgers came out swinging in the second half. Schwarzy had a nice header off a corner kick that went over the bar, or maybe it hit the bar, or maybe it’s time to go to the bar… who can remember.

But the goal of the day was developing on the pitch as the Badgers pinged it around and Pete got it back deep on the left side of the box. With Peterson holed up 15 yards behind him for a drop, Pete elected to twist through the defense like a young Jack Sparrow and put in a nice cross to the many bodies standing inside the box. What nobody noticed was Gianluca, streaking into the box like he heard the dinner bell announcing a fresh plate of Luke’s Grandmother’s biscuits. Like a bullet, Gigi pounced onto the cross and smacked a low, driving shot past the helpless keeper to restore the lead! Fantastic goal.

2-1 Cameron Road.

Bat City wasn’t quite done though, as they tied it up at two apiece, but it would be their last action of the afternoon.

With 25 minutes to go and three points on the line, Cameron Road kicked it up into high gear. Once again, it was Gianluca who was the catalyst as his shot sunk deep into the belly region of the Bat City Keeper, who ever so slightly fumbled the ball….. but like a duck on a junebug, Derek pounced, stabbing the ball out of his fingertips and into the back of the net for a 3-2 lead which the Honey Badgers wouldn’t relinquish.

In fact, they were looking to add to the lead as they commenced their final siege on the Bat City defense. Daniel had a trademark end-to-end lung-busting run to track down a ball which resulted in a minor pineapple. Gianluca attempted to fulfill his would-be hat trick with a trademark bicycle kick. Chappy found new ways to not score as Ciro slid in a perfect through ball into the 6 yard box, but the ball bounced off the bunion and into the keeper’s arms as the size 13’s stretched to get a touch. (Jefe found it quite amusing as Chappy steamed at his incompetence)

But it was Pete who was in the right spot off a corner kick scuffle to nab a fourth for the Honey Badgers.

At the back, the defense stood firm to protect the lead. Big Dave engaged the slide tackle. Jeff Z stood firm in the center of the pitch. Chris G was pretty much everywhere. Billy and Danny manned the right flank. Bat City found no more joy going forward.

To close out the game, there was a heck of an “almost” goal that was a thing of beauty as the Badgers worked the ball around the back and into enemy territory. Someone got the ball to Chappy at the top of the box as he unleashed his inner Xavi with a first time dagger of a through ball to Schwarzy deep inside the box. Schwarzy took a few perfect touches and crossed it to the back post as Peterson was making a run. With a pre-guttural cry of “YEESSSSSSSSS” from the Captain, Peterson’s perfect header was certain to score…. but to his credit, somehow the Bat City keeper made a point blank save, denying the team’s best hair his prize. Still, excellent team play from Cameron Road.

And that was all she wrote. Cameron Road probably escaped relegation with that win, and it couldn’t have come at a better time as the clock ran down on the 2023/2024 season. Well done Badgers, well done.

Man-of-the-Match: Gianluca got the ball rolling with the first goal, wowed the crowd with his second, and nearly got himself a hat trick. Glad to see his shooting boots are back on.

Post-Match-Report: With the end of the season came the annual CRU Awards ceremony. Derek won his umpteenth Golden Boot, narrowly edging out his strike partner Gianluca. Jeff Z was crowned the season’s MVP after a fantastic defensive year. And Ciro got drenched a few times for just being Ciro. Another season in the books!