Honey Badgers End Season On A High With 2-1 Victory Over First Place Phoenix!
In what has been a truly remarkable run since the Fall Cup, the Honey Badgers finished off their undefeated Spring Season with a 2-1 win over the division champions, Phoenix. Sure, sure, Phoenix started a man down (or two), but who’s counting, right? The ended up full strength when it was all said and done and they stockpiled their tent city with about 50 children of all ages and an assorted collection of wives and girlfriends. I’m sure they were planning quite the victory party for their winning season. Sorry not sorry for ruining the celebration. Honey Badgers don’t give a shit about your propane grill.
As a tribute to one hell of a run at the back, Cameron Road Untied, Inc. unleashed Jaybone into the field to wreak havoc in central midfield in only the way Jaybone can. He was replaced by the best backup in the business, Danimal. Since subs were late-arriving, Ryan started the game at center back with Jefe in another unorthodox move, but they proved to be a strong paring on the back line, like River Beer and kolaches.
From the getgo, Cameron Road used the available extra space to shred the Phoenix defense. Steve and Derek were doing the business up front, supported by Jaybone, BT, Chappy and Jake.
McKenna had a point to prove on the last game of the season, with Derek looking to be a shoe in for the Golden Boot. He was highly motivated to cut the little man’s lead down and maybe take aim at his title. Thing were looking good as he netted the opening goal with a Mo-Salah-like piece of skill.
From the back, Danimal slung the ball out to Big Dave on the left. Dave hooked a ball straight to Steve down the left side. Steve turned in a flash and was headed towards the keeper. Showing the patience and composure of Luke’s Grandmother as she painstakingly rolled out a fresh batch of biscuit dough, Steve gave the keeper the ol’McKenna roll over with the right foot to round him, and then calmly slotted it into the far post with his left.
After surviving a near fatal neck injury from a phantom Honey Badger (which sent Chappy into a foul-mouthed rage) the Phoenix #9 was doing his best to grab back a goal. Actually, Phoenix had two good forwards who were a handful, but like they have done all season, the defense stood strong in the face of adversity.
Midway through the half, Steve and Derek hooked up for Steve’s second goal of the game as Derek slid him a perfect ball across the goal for Steve to toe-poke home. With two goals in fifteen minutes, fans wondered if Steve just might become the only Honey Badger to ever score five goals in a game and overtake Derek for the Golden Boot. Turns out Derek’s title was safe, but Steve sure made a run of it. Maybe someone else will one day perform the heroic task of scoring five goals in one game…. and have it recorded on the website.
With Jaybone patrolling his new advanced position, he was gifted a fast break opportunity and a solo run at the keeper. As he tried to track down the high bouncing ball he was upended by an Onion Creek mole hill and wrecked his ankle. But the injury was only momentary and Jay soon recovered to find another chance at goal.
Others were creating chances as well. Dave and Chappy hooked up for a pair of corner kicks, but the Captain’s goal drought continued to plague him as his headers just couldn’t find the net. He also connected on a one-time shot to the far post…. but he was more likely to hit the far stoplight post on William Cannon and McKinney Falls parkway as his shot sailed over the bar and into the treelike.
With the half coming to a close, Ryan took out the Phoenix attacker with a smart tactical foul to stop a fast break on goal. With nearly the last kick of the game, Phoenix sent in a free kick that was destined for the upper 90 if not for Danimal’s full stretch pawing of the ball over the bar. That save was Jaybone approved.
Oranges.
Cameron Road looked to continue the solid passing game in the second half and go on and just win the damn game….. even though three points could send them into second place and dangerously close to promotion territory. “Fuck it, we’re here” was Peterson’s rallying call.
And even after Phoenix clawed their way back into the game with a second half goal, the Honey Badgers never let their foot off the gas. They continued to assault the Phoenix box and win corner after corner. Everybody wanted a piece of the action as the season crept to a close.
Ciro, back from his historic Korean Peace Summit the night before, was heavily involved in several build ups. Billy danced forward and had a crack at goal. Adam patiently waited for a ball to ping off any sharp part of his body. Jake put those long legs to good use on the touch line. BT sprayed passes and shots towards the box. Danny drove in a 40 yard free kick from behind the half line for the Bald Dome of Power to flick over the bar. Ryan crept forward when he wasn’t busy breaking up enemy attacks. It was the Honey Badgers at their best.
In the end, the first place Phoenix just couldn’t cope with the Honey Badgers funky shit, and the victory was secured. The perfect end to a near-perfect Spring Season.
Man-of-the-Match: No single player will be called out this week, instead, we will pay tribute to the entire Cameron Road Defense! With the lowest goals against in the entire league, the Honey Badger defense was the backbone that propelled the team to such a great season. Well done lads. Well done.
