Honey Badgers Take Back The Crown & Anchor from Chopped Liverpool In A 2-1 Victory
NEMP 18? Where in the Hell is NEMP 18?
On a desolate strip of near barren, undulating tundra, Cameron Road brought their A-Game to vanquish yet another opponent in what has become a fairly remarkable run since the start of the Fall Cup.
While beating Liverpool and resuming normal service as Crown & Anchor Champions was certainly on the list of things to do, the Honey Badgers wrapped up their main goal of the season with one match to spare. Just like George Bush stood on the deck of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln and pronounced “Mission Accomplished,” Cameron Road also stood tall and declared total victory as they will finish ahead of the Punters on points for the second year running. (as well as doubling up the Strikers point total and most likely finishing ahead of the Dragons heartfelt efforts down in the dank, steamy, moldy, dark depths of Over 30B)
Cameron Road stared the game off with a few subs to spare, as well as welcoming Danimal and Bret back to the defense. Their crisp passing was on full display early as they attacked Liverpool against the mighty wind. The Honey Badgers were working well against the outgunned and Johnny Football-less Choppers, getting in deep several time to test their keepers fingers.
At the back, Danimal’s booming goal kicks were helping to keep the Livers in their half of the pitch, but the swirling, tornadic, hurricane-force winds were making it more difficult for the Honey Badgers to collect each and every one of them and tuck them away like colored eggs in an Easter basket at Luke’s Grandmother’s house (as she prepared a delicious, warm, fluffy batch of her finest biscuits of course for all the children of the neighborhood, which was her custom).
The Honey Badgers were starting to exploit the spaces in the Liverpool back line and spend some good quality time in their 18 yard box.
The fantastic opening goal came right down the gut as Ryan Pirloed a ball to BT who darted through the heart of the Liver’s defense like he was on the Brava aisle at Academy and the announcement came over the store loud speaker, “We are closing in 5 minutes, please bring all your purchases to the register NOW!!”
He slank his way through several hapless defenders and delivered the perfect ball in front of Derek to smash home with a rare cutback-less shot that left the keeper helpless. Probably the assist of the year and a great finish by the soon-to-be Golden Boot winner.
The Badgers were feeling good about themselves as the half was coming to a close, but the Livers managed to sneak in a header at the near post with only seconds to spare.
Oranges
The Honey Badgers kicked off the second half with the wind at their backs, and the Livers on the back foot. As is his custom, New Brian got involved in the center of the park and kept control of the ball like he was performing 3 card Monty at the County Fair for beer money. (and for all we know, he actually is performing 3 card Monty at the County Fair for beer money) With Brian, Peterson and Ryan running the show in the middle of the park, the Honey Badgers were making progress attacking Liverpool. McKenna was holding up the ball well and trying to get a shot off, Derek nestled deep into the Liverpool back line several times, and Adam tried to get into any position where the ball might ricochet off him at an odd angle to thwart the keeper.
Chappy got into the game for Jake on the right wing, and soon after tried to hook up with Peterson for ye’ol’corner kick. Peterson put it up (or did he send it?) with delicious accuracy to the near post. Chappy grunted and groaned his way into position to smash it home with the Bald Dome of Power, but the net was a rocky place where his seed could find no purchase. As of 10:48pm CST, the Peterson-Chapoton email box was still offline and packets have yet to be delivered. Standby for possible server upgrade next Sunday with the purchase and installation of a Hooli Gavin Nelson Signature Box 3.
With Jaybonz enjoying a touch-less game at the back, Cameron Road pushed for the winner. Since Andy claims he is retiring (don’t worry, we will all talk him out of this horrible decision) and wasn’t at today’s match, Adam threw down his marker to replace him as the chief destructive force in midfield by dislodging a ball off a Liverpool defender and knocking it to Steve McKenna. Steve, still riding his Liverpool (the actual Liverpool, not the chopped variety) Champion’s League high, unleashed a 25 yard rocket that sped towards the goal with minimum lift but maximum accuracy to the near post. Game. Set. Match. 2-1 Honey Badgers and there was no way they were letting Chopped Liverpool back in the game.
During the final 15 minutes, Cameron Road pushed hard and tried to get another goal. Danimal sent one high over the bar from the top of the box (I mean, did anyone mention to Danny that it was windy???), and Willis kissed one off the crossbar. That’s two weeks in a row the woodwork has thwarted Ryan’s magisterial attempts at glory, maybe next week he will get some treeline love and have one of his shots dip in.
The game finished 2-1, another standout performance from the Honey Badgers who still haven’t lost a game in 2018. That vaulted them up to third place and dangerously close to a top 2 finish with a final game next weekend. Stick around, this season’s still got some twists and turns yet!
Man-of-the-Match: Steve McKenna put in a 90 minute shift, held the ball up well all day, tracked back on defense and nabbed the game winning goal deep into the second half. If he keeps up this good form, Jurgen Klopp just might give him a call for Tuesday’s match with Roma.
Man-of-the-Post-Match: Look for an extra jacked-up Chappy whenever you see him again as Bret delivered a pre-Christmas gift of tent-jumping juice to his Captain – who hereby releases Bret of any responsibility for any sugar and caffeine induced dumb-ass things he may perform or if his heart explodes in a fiery shower of taurine, high fructose corn syrup, citric acid and guaranteed extract on the pitch.
