Honey Badgers Route Takoba 4-0 to Kick Off the Spring Season

What a difference a week makes! Fresh from an embarrassing second half collapse against the Madrigal Dragons last week, the Honey Badgers were thirsty for cobra’s blood. They were onto the sent early, as they showed up 17 strong before kickoff. Rumor has it that Jefe sent up camp in the 7:00 hour, finding just the right spot to deploy his keg of Crispin cider for post game celebrations. The den of Honey Badgers included a rare BT sighting, a return of Dave and Cuyler, Andy wearing one soccer cleat and one running shoe, and a semi-coherent Adam fresh from his Fall Cup concussion.

The game started off with Takoba gifting Cameron Road a beautiful chance as their keeper launched a not-so-successful kick right back out into open play. The ball found Ryan waiting and willing, and with the keeper stranded outside his six yard box, Ryan’s first touch of the game was a 20 yard left-footed shot at an open goal that went just wide. Foreshadowing my friends. Foreshadowing.

Team Takoba seems to have gone thorough a bit of a Latin transition, with some new faces replacing the all too familiar Ginger Elbow of days past. No matter though, the only color the Honey Badgers saw was the blood red of Takoba’s uniforms which left them salivating for goals.

Ryan carved out a beautiful chance for McKenna in the opening 15 minutes as he rolled a razor sharp pass into the feat of the onrushing striker. The keeper saved Steve’s shot, but you could tell that Cameron Road was looking to strike.

After a back and forth first half, Cameron Road established a beachhead in front of the Takoba goal that would server as a launching point for waves of attacks throughout the rest of the game. With the half coming to a close, Dave stepped up to fire off a corner kick. His first attempt was slightly off target, but his second was right on the money. The Honey Badgers dialed up Badger Scoring Play 1A, which involved Luke, the back post, two fists, the front of his head, and the ball in the back of the net. 1-0 CRU at the end of the first half.

Adam might not know what day it was, but he remembered the tiny oranges with flavor bursting qualities to keep the Honey Badgers satisfied at halftime.

Takoba came out feisty in the second half, turning up the temperature on their referee and foul whining from a 3 to a 6. And although this did succeed in riling up the Honey Badgers, it also made them even thirstier for the finest of cobra blood which can only be found in the back of the net.

Early on in the second half after winning a free kick on the edge of the box, Cameron Road dialed up Badger Scoring Play 1B, which involved Chappy, the near post, a diving header, and the ball in the back of the net. Great delivery from part-time Honey Badger Travis.

The Honey Badgers quickly established that defending set pieces and corner kicks were the Takoba Achilles heal, and on the next one, they unleashed the Kraken inside the box. Travis stepped up a bit deeper from the same right hand side and whipped in a majestic ball into the six yard box. Smelling more blood, Chappy mistook Cuyler’s face for the ball and nailed him right in the cheek with the bald dome of power. Luckily, Cuyler got the ball a split second before and ended up scoring and not knowing much about it. 3-0 CRU.

Takoba became more enraged and they increased the temperature on their whining to full blown boiling as they contested every call, cried out for every foul and generally became unbearable. The one really good shot they had was saved brilliantly by Jay as he pushed it up over the bar with his fingertips.

With the game seemingly in hand, Ciro decided it was time to stamp his authority on the match with his tiny feet. For a ten minute span, the Japanese-Brazilian-Fat-Ronaldo of the team tormented Takoba with a trio of runs inside the box and subsequent shots. His thirst for cobra blood incited the rest of the squad to do the same as Jefe made a trio of defensive blocks, the last from the ground. But ultimately it was old reliable, Stevie McKenna who put the game to bed with a classic Makka goal. Steve gathered the ball on the left baseline and drove into the box. A Takoba defender challenged the ball, but luckily it found Steve again and he continued his assault before unleashing a fantastic left-footed close range blast into the back of the net. 4-0 CRU. Game over.

So it was a nice bounce back win for the Honey Badgers as they took the opening game of the Spring Season and looked to make up some ground on the other teams around them. Next up is another battle for Crown & Anchor supremacy as they face Chopped Liverpool on March 1.

Man-of-the-Match: With two assists, a deft touch for a big man and a nasty streak that would make Danimal smile, the MOTM voting board overlooked Travis’ white socks and navy blue shorts and awarded him this week’s honors. Hopefully we’ll see him on the pitch again this season as he starts pulling double duty with that other team.

Post-Game-Fiesta: All hail Jefe as he doused the team for the second week in a row with a min-keg of delightful liquid ibuprofen. Word on the street is that the Crispin and Frito fueled post game stretched on into the 4 hour mark and morphed into a penalty shootout and soccer ball golf extravaganza with Chris Peterson serving as Master of Ceremonies.