Honey Badgers Slaughter FC Phoenix – Feast on Goals in a 10-0 Rout

Cameron Road United sent out a powerful message to the rest of the league yesterday with an emphatic and overwhelming show of force – dismantling Slaughter FC – Phoenix to the tune of 10-0 for the biggest opening day win ever.

In what could only be described as a bloodthirsty hunt for goals from the entire squad, the Honey Badgers came out against the wind in the first half and immediately dominated the play. The opening whistle lineup starred  a rock-solid back line of Dave, Cuyler, Danny and Crosley; a majestic midfield of Andy, Ryan, Luke and Adam; and an eager front two of Chappy and Dermot. Immediately FC Phoenix were overrun, and Cameron Road started taking turns peppering the goal. With some good passing and switching the balls to the wings, Cameron Road attacked with crosses and also played route 1 football right up the gut.

As was the case in the opening game of the Fall Season, Captain Chappy opened the scoring with an easy left footed snatch and grab goal as Andy whipped in a nice cross from the right. Shortly after that, Ryan scored a much more fantastic goal as he wove through the heart of the Phoenix defense like the 6th century Hestia Tapestry and smashed in a left-footed screamer.

The score remained 2-0 at half time, but Cameron Road had half a dozen other chances, most notably Cuyler hitting the right post with a curling shot from the edge of the box, as well as Adam and Andy trading close misses.

The Honey Badgers were treated to several surprises at half time as Adam’s mother offered up a double delight of cookies and tiny little tangelos which were bursting with flavor particulates. Cameron Road also received a second treat as BT arrived in time for some second half action. Little did the team know that his arrival (along with the energy inducing snacks) would spark a monumental 8 goal blitzkrieg.

Ahh, the second half, where to begin? With a shrewd tactical selection, Cameron Road had the wind in the second half, which was one of many things that didn’t go so well for Phoenix. Within minutes, the entire squad in yellow was peppering the goal with shot after shot. Literally. BT fired a few scud missiles over the bar, Andy was out for blood, the defense was pushing up, but it was Dermot who struck first with a powerful header inside the box from a Crosley cross. After that, things got a little crazy. Luke exploded from his defensive position to send in a 30 yard volley through the back of the net. The shot was so powerful, that it traveled all the way to Oklahoma where it landed on his Grandmother’s tray of fresh biscuits. After Jefe raced on to reclaim the game ball, CRU was back in business. Andy scored two goals, Danimal scored two goals (one for each kiddo on the sideline), and then the shit just got real. Willis set Jay free from the shackles behind goal as he pushed up to the forward spot. For the last 15 minutes, it was a straight up free-for-all with Dave, Peyton, Andy, Adam, Jay, Peterson and anyone else available in a yellow shirt went searching for goals.

As the game mercifully wound down, Crosley fired in a rare defender’s goal, and Jay cut back across the box and sent in a low sizzler to the far corner. The route was complete and Cameron Road walked off the pitch savoring the most lopsided regular season game in nearly 15 years. Pretty amazing stuff. Surely the upcoming games will get more difficult, but spirits and confidence are running high.

Man-of-the-Match: Powered by the pristine, cotton white Nike socks on loan from Chappy, Andy fired in 2 goals and 3 assists while wearing regulation Honey Badger blue shorts. His hunger for the Golden Boot is palpable.

Man-of-the-Sideline: El Jefe sent out a powerful message to those players injured but not in attendance. He babysat the little Danimals, shagged balls on a recently surgically repaired ankle, and brought the victory beer. That my friends, is a commitment to excellence.