The Epic, Fantastic, Unbelievable Journey that was the 2014 Austin Fall Cup

For the second time in three tries, the Honey Badgers made it to the Austin Fall Cup Finals in a thrilling, captivating, monumental, epic weekend of soccer and sausages. The Cameron Road Executive Council did its homework with the pre-tournament planning as they secured the services of Travis, Nick and Berto to add a “Punter Bump” to the squad.

Joining those three scallywags was damn near the entire CRU roster, with the notable exceptions of the injured Gigi and the elusive Brian Thomas. So with twenty or so available players, the Honey Badgers embarked on a remarkable journey. They were aided by gameday beards, shopping bags full of food, and a shitton of beer.

Day One
When they are not feasting on cobras and calling people stupid, Honey Badgers love nothing more than a game of footy with their old arch nemesis – the Celtic Cowboys. And so the Soccer Gods bestowed a treat upon the Cameron Road squad with an opening game against the green and white hooped numpties.

Game 1: Cameron Road 2 – Celtic Cowboys 0
Cameron Road started off the game giving Celtic all they could handle. Adam had the first clear cut chance of the tournament with some close range action and Andy flashed a shot just wide of goal as well. A sure sign of things to come. The tournament almost took a dramatic turn for the worse in the first 10 minutes of the game as the referee harshly brandished a red card to Danimal for a tussle with a Celtic attacker outside the box. A RED CARD! You must be having a laugh ref. He almost ruined the whole weekend for the Honey Badger’s inspirational defender, but thankfully the eagle eyes of the linesman saved the day and Danimal was spared.

With that bullet successfully dodged, the Honey Badgers set out to put the inferior Celtic Cowboys out of their misery in the second half. Travis was first up on the weekend score sheet as he created some space for himself at the top of the box and curled in his favorite shot to the back of the net.

Next up, Zoran sealed the victory with the second goal of the game. Stevie McKenna pumped in a corner kick and Z got a foot on it to direct it into the net. Game over Celtic. Honey Badgers roll.

Game 1 Post Game: 
After the early morning victory, the Honey Badgers set out to their next task of the day – setting up camp. With 4+ hours to kill between their matchup with Manchester City, Cameron Road needed to construct their off-field home and fire up the grill for warmth and sausage production.

While some helped secure Badger Town with some clever lean to action, others huddled around the grill to heat back up. In the long moments between games, many a sausage was consumed, and in what can only be described as a shear moment of brilliance, someone moved the grill into the confines of the tent to turn Badger Town into a cozy little Badger Den.

With their cozy base of operations in play, Cameron Road nestled down to watch their next two opponents battle it out in their first match of the day. The score didn’t flatter Team Tecate, but they were clearly in charge of the game in a 2-1 victory against Manchester City. (although the Manchester City goal was a sight to behold as their #10 struck a left-footed blast from 45 yards out that swerved into the top right corner. Impressive and something to be wary of during game #2)

 

Game 2: Cameron Road 3 – Manchester City 0
Next up was a rematch with Manchester City, who gave Cameron Road fits in a game a few years ago when they employed a powerful Bosnian axis of power up front. Luckily for the Honey Badgers, their potent strike force seemed to be missing, but still, Cameron Road was wary of this team backed by the league President.

Fortunately the Honey Badgers, midday reinforcements Andy, Cuyler (tap tap) and Nick arrived, infusing the pitch with fresh legs.

Fueled with an unstoppable lineup and brimming with confidence from the morning game, Cameron Road set out to put two wins on the table and book a place in the semi finals with a game to spare.

Right out of the gate, CRU was looking to score. Chappy played in Steve McKenna with a razor-edge pass through the defense, but Steve couldn’t find the back of the net. No matter, soon after Nick broke free and unleashed a shot that was turned into the goal by a Man City defender for the opening 1-0 lead.

Cameron Road doubled up on that effort as Zoran looked to double his goal tally. Grabbing the ball from Ciro inside the center of the box, Zoran spun with the grace of an elephant on a tight rope and smashed the ball past the keeper for an unsurmountable 2 goal lead.

Riding their confidence, the Honey Badgers showed no mercy in the second half as they dismantled Manchester City. Peterson got his blood boiling with a shoulder to shoulder turned cage fight down the right touchline, and soon after City had their out-of-control headgear wearing bruiser sent off for repeated fouls. Down to 10 men, Cameron Road punished City as Danimal was uncaged from his defensive lair, strode down the center of the pitch where he collected the ball and absolutely smashed a shot past the keeper. An early candidate for goal of the tournament.

Things were going so well for Cameron Road when disaster struck for one of the Honey Badgers. Powered by his frohawk, Adam went into a challenge with the keeper hard, colliding in mid air. Adam laid there on the pitch like a slug sensing a salt shaker, not really moving and looking in real trouble. After a few minutes he emerged from his slumber, groggy-eyed and sore. He was eventually taken off the pitch and assessed by the Fall Cup medical staff. When asked if he knew what day it was, Adam replied with a grin, “Soccer Day??” Of course he was right, but unfortunately his tournament was over. Big thanks to or resident Irishman Dermot who was able to take him to the clinic after the game to make sure he got checked out.

So it was job done as Cameron Road won their second game of the day and locked up a spot in the semi finals.

Game 2 Post Game:
As if it were written in the stars, the sun came out after the second game and Cameron Road was able to emerge from the confines of Badger Town and reflect on a fantastic first day. Two games, two wins, 5 goals, zero goals conceded, zero red cards…. not a bad day’s work.  In typical Honey Badger style, the beer flowed like water, sausages were consumed by the dozen, and ice baths were handed out like it was Christmas.

Video: Peterson Ice Bath

 

Day Two
Epic. No other word to describe the 10 hours spent nestled in between fields five and six on Championship Sunday. It will surely go down in history as one of the greatest days in CRU history.

Game 1: Cameron Road 0 – Tecate 3
The opening game on Sunday was basically meaningless. Both Cameron Road and their opponents were through to the semi finals, but both wanted to have a good tune-up performance before the real games began. Cameron Road was suffering a bit with a weekend sideline with only 11 players available at the kickoff, they were stretched pretty thin when matched up against the powerful, former Premier team Tecate. Some slept in to preserve their strength, some were at church, praying for a glorious run to the finals, some couldn’t continue due to injury (McKenna and Adam), and some eventually showed up a little late. One of those slightly late-comers was Dermot, who was looking for his first action on the pitch of the season. The Honey Badgers welcomed him back into the fold with open talons and his aggressive play was just what was needed against a skillful opponent.

Tecate were showing their composure and experience, but Cameron Road wasn’t just lying down. They did create some first half chances, but Tecate went up on a free kick that I’m sure Jay would like to have another crack at. They doubled their lead with a bomb from way downtown and the weary Honey Badgers were forced to accept their fate at halftime and try and conserve energy.

Jefé did have a really good look at goal in the second half when he fired a shot across the face of goal, and Ryan also showed some initiative with some close range work near the goal. Berto had a good chance as he danced through the middle of the Tecate defense, but his tame shot was unfortunately aimed right at the keeper.

So with nothing really to play for, Cameron Road licked their wounds and looked forward to a semi final match with perennial thorns in their sides, Austin Athletic Club.

 

Semi Final: Cameron Road 2 – Austin Athletic Club 2 – Honey Badgers Win Penalty Shootout!
Game of the Year. Game of the Decade. Game of the Fucking Century.

It seems that year after year, Cameron Road faces Austin Athletic Club and their bounty of upper division players in an annual grudge match. Two tournaments ago Cameron Road beat them on their way to the finals. One tournament ago Austin Athletic gave the Honey Badgers the smack down and started them off with an opening day loss. What would this high stakes game provide? For one of the teams, it was gonna be the end of the road.

With such pressure and finality attached to this game, Cameron Road needed something a little extra special. They needed something that would provide them with the advantage. An army of fresh legs arrived in Cuyler, Andy (with doughnuts), Travis and Nick, but they were looking for something with a little more pizazz. And they got it with the arrival of Coach Gigi.

Nursing his almost healed ACL injury, Gigi showed up in suit and track shoes, ready to take the clip board in a tactical tour de force. It was a stroke of genius and his emotional lift was a real boost to the team’s tired and weary legs.

This instant classic started off with both teams going back and forth. The powerful Austin Athletic lineup was negated by the fantastic, aggressive Cameron Road defense. As Austin Athletic surged forward, unlikely disaster struck the back line. Anar, the ever-friendly, but built like a brick shithouse center back, unleashed a rocket of a shot that smashed off Danimal’s leg and into the back of the net. And if that wasn’t enough of a horror show, another Austin Athletic goal soon followed.

Cameron Road found themselves two goals down to a very strong team within the first 15 minutes. Most teams would have crumbled. Most teams would have thrown in the towel. Most teams would have considered it a good tournament run to get to this point.

But CRU ain’t most teams. And when faced with an early deficit in a do-or-die game, the clock strikes Badger Time and shit starts to get real. In the second half, Danimal was a force of nature; heading away countless balls with no regard for his body or personal safety. His compatriots in defense stood strong as well and like Gandalf facing the Balrog on the bridge of Khazad-düm – Big Dave, Cuyler, Billy, Jefé, Crosley and Luke declared that NONE SHALL PASS.

In the midfield, Dermot, Ciro, Peterson, Nick, Jake, Andy and Berto worked tirelessly to get the play pushed forward to Travis, Chappy and Zoran who prowled the AAC back line. With the precious ticks of the clock ticking by, the Honey Badgers needed a rallying point and they got one. Berto, the smallest player on the pitch, wove his way into the box. The fouls were coming fast and furiously but he refused to go down, employing the stiff arm and using his low center of gravity to stay afloat amidst a sea of defenders to get to the touch line. From the left hand side of the goal, Willis prowled, carefully watching Berto’s mazy run. As Berto miraculously turned the corner and sent his cross towards the far post, Ryan sprang like a jungle cat…. well, like a bobcat….. actually it was more like a deprived and starved alley cat looking for a scrap of beef jerky to tide it over until it’s next meal…. anyway, Ryan arrived with a hunger for goal and his outstretched boot knocked the ball into the back of the net and sent Cameron Road back in the game.

With precious little time to spare, Austin Athletic Club stood strong and it was looking increasingly like their one goal lead would hold. But as luck would have it, another of the smaller Honey Badgers would provide the assist for the game defining moment. Ciro cut through the center of the AAC defense like a knife through hot butter and drew a foul. It was perhaps Cameron Road’s last real chance of the game since the referee was very near to calling it a day on the 60 minutes.

Stepping up to take the free kick was the mighty Kraken. If ever a kick was in his 20-25 yard wheelhouse, this was it. Cuyler surveyed the wall, scoffed at it’s implications and limitations, and set up to take the free kick. As Chappy looked to Coach Gigi on the sidelines for guidance, the entire Onion Creek field seemed to stand still. Not a bird chirped in the tree line for they knew the Kraken had harnessed all of their power.

The Kraken delivered. With a mighty right-footed blast around the wall, Cuyler tied the game up at 2-2 and sent the teams into a sudden death penalty shootout to advance to the finals. Goal of the Year.

As if that wasn’t enough drama, there was the small matter of 10 players having to take penalty kicks to settle this game once and for all. First up for Cameron Road were Ryan and Peterson, the latter who was in a frenzy at the end of the game so that he could be on the field for p/k’s and do his part for the team. What Austin Athletic didn’t know, was that Coach Gigi had actually planned for both Ryan and Chris to miss their spot kicks in an effort to ignite the crowd and give their opponent a false sense of security.

The rest of the shootout proceeded as a blur. Jay made a save. Their keeper made a save. Luke, Travis and Danimal all made their kicks, and it was finally up to Jay to determine the outcome of the match with the last kick. Stepping up to face him was the AAC striker who had missed a point blank shot at the goal that would have won the game for them at the end of regular time. He must have been highly motivated to redeem himself.

But this moment belonged to Jay. He correctly dove left to palm away the attempt and the game was over. The Honey Badgers had made it back to the finals!

Semi-Final Post Game: 
With only an hour to prepare for the final against Austin Blues F.C. Guinness – Jay’s former team – the Honey Badgers mentally prepared themselves for the most important game of the year. Chappy had a beer.

Final: Cameron Road 1 – Austin Blues F.C. Guinness 2
Could the day get any better? Could there be more twists and turns in store for the Honey Badgers in this magisterial weekend of soccer? The short answer was yes. And so it was, with weary legs but energetic minds, the Honey Badgers prepared themselves for battle one last time against a team that currently sits atop the Over 30A division.

The final was to be no joke. After playing 4 60 minute games, this grand finale was a regular 90 minute game. If the match wasn’t settled at the end of regulation, 20 minutes of extra time were tacked on, to be followed to another penalty shootout. Brutal.

Much of the actual game was lost in a blur of endorphins, exhaustion and fatigue. Needless to say, the Honey Badgers played well up to their competition, going stride-for-stride with the boys in black, but not giving an inch. Unlike the final two years ago, Cameron Road was in this game all the way, and with the help of their Punter guest players, they were looking to take the whole damn enchilada.

But neither team would budge. 45 minutes passed without a goal. 20 minutes of the second half passed without a goal. But then, the clouds parted and the heavens opened up and shined a ray on one bald head for one glorious moment.

After running half a marathon already in the game, Nick decided he could run a bit further and pushed the ball forward from the inside right of the pitch. From his forward position, Chappy started to make his darting run past the defender and cut to the center of the box. With the precision of a Swiss watch created by a laser beam in the claws of a Bald Eagle, Nick daftly slid in a pass in front of the onrushing Chappy.

Quick as a flash, Chappy pounced on the ball like Luke snatching up the last of his Grandmother’s biscuits, and sent out one Mizuno-covered size 13 toe to meet the ball just before the keeper could snatch it up. The ball zoomed past the keeper and into the back of the net sending Chappy into a literal delirium of joy which he is yet to come down from.

Hoping the goal would hold, Cameron Road fought hard to close out the game and emerge victorious. Unfortunately, the Soccer Gods declared that there was more drama to unfold this day and gave F.C. Guinness back the tying goal that they had craved so much off of a corner kick near the end of the game.

Feeling slightly deflated, but never down and out, the Honey Badgers prepared to sack up and play the extra time. What was not possible had suddenly become possible as the spirit of Danimal and others simply willed Cameron Road’s tired and weary muscles to perform for another 20 minutes.

After the first 10 minute overtime period, the score remained the same. After 15 minutes of the final overtime period, the score remained the same. After 17 minutes of the final overtime period, the score remained the same. After 18 minutes of the final overtime period, the score remained the same. After 19 minutes, both teams were gearing up to face each other in another penalty shootout to decide the one true champion. After 19 minutes and 20 seconds in the final overtime period, the score remained the same. After 19 minutes and 45 seconds in the final overtime period, the score remained the same….

And with literally the last kick of the final overtime period, an F.C. Guinness attacker picked up the ball from 30 yards out and plunged a dagger straight in the hearts of 20 Honey Badgers with a brilliant strike that he will remember for the rest of his life.

Without even time for a kick off, just like that, the game was over.

But this is the Fall Cup and these are the Honey Badgers. After licking their wounds for approximately 30 seconds, they knew that there was a post game of post games to be had in Badger Town and they had all punched their tickets for the event.

Final Post Game:
The moral of this story is that there’s not much sorrow that can’t be washed away with a cooler full of beer, a grill full of sausages, and the comradery of your best mates who you have just gone to soccer war with over the past 36 hours.

The Honey Badgers may have narrowly lost the most epic final in modern recorded human history, but they damn sure won the post game. Badger Town was on fire with the laughter and satisfaction of a job well done. Hell, even Billy was smiling.

As dusk settled over the field like Snuggie, Cameron Road’s magical run to the finals had come to an end, but will forever be remembered by all those who took part. Especially because, you know, we’ve got a website.

Next year, we win the damn thing.