Badgers Continue To Rope-A-Dope The League With Clever Loss To Austin Athletic Club

Like Muhammad Ali in his prime, the Honey Badgers continued their summer “rope-a-dope” strategy with yet another strategic loss. While the Honey Badgers seem unable and unwilling to deploy this tactic during the regular season, they have no trouble deceiving the league once the temperatures hit triple digits.

With a few subs to spare (but only a few), Cameron Road took to the pitch in the early hours of Sunday morning to face an age-old rival. The defense was anchored by the unorthodox “Chris Squared” center back pairing, as Danimal took a break from his customary interior battleground to chill out on the left side in anticipation of his impending lil’Danimite.

The Honey Badgers were shit hot in the opening fifteen minutes, although Chappy’s first touch from Danimal’s pass was just shit. They had plenty of opportunities. Steve continued his great hold up play and created his own shots out of nothing. Derek deployed a few choice cutbacks inside the box. Chappy had a pop at goal from a nice give and go with Derek. And Danimal had a close near-post header.

But for all the Honey Badger’s efforts, they couldn’t find the back of the net and let AAC sneak in two goals.

Not to be dismayed, Cameron Road continued to step on the gas, and Jake nearly found Ryan at the back post on a sprinting counter attack to get back into the game.

According to Danny, he’d tasted better oranges at the half.  Messi drank an O’douls

The second half began with another backline switcharoo as Ryan slotted into the right back position behind his Captain and Life Mentor, Chappy. But halfway through the festivities, the sock that Brian washed for him must have had some residual “BT Juice” on it, as it penetrated deep into his hamstring causing it to curl up like a dried piece of fruit. Ryan departed the game to join Ciro in the infirmary. What happened to Ciro remains a mystery that only his apprentice, Jefe, will be able to solve upon his return from Colo-RAD-o.

Not to worry though, because Brian S arrived promptly at the 64 minute mark to add some much needed composure to the midfield.

As the game wore on, more chances were made. The Honey Badgers were doing everything except scoring! Peterson and Chappy tried to hook up on some surf-n-turn corners, Steve kept making space for himself, the wingers kept putting in slightly off-target crosses, and Derek saw things only privy to his mind’s eye.

At the other end, Peterson and Danimal were vying for “Play of the Game.” Danny had a 15 yard slide tackle down in the corner that was a thing of beauty. (somewhere, Big Dave, – weary-eyed from his recent travels to the coast – put down his cup of coffee, gazed at the sky, and smiled – and just like that, his momentary vision of splendor vanished)

Peterson saved what would have been a sure goal with some kind of Michael Jackson Thriller-like dance moves on the goal line. The most amazing thing about the play? Not a solitary hair moved a centimeter.

Anyway, whatever. Game over. Honey Badgers nothing, AAC something. Time to bask in the glory of the mist, heckle the Dragons, and sing the latest Honey Badger theme song:

Adam’s arms were made for buckets
And that’s just what they’ll do
One of these days his arms are gonna spray mist all over you